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Actual Answers to GCSE Questions (allegedly)

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Bevc
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I'd give up chocolate but I'm no quitter!

Actual Answers to GCSE Questions (allegedly) « on: February 04, 2006, 06:29 PM »
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1.   Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

2.   The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked, "Am I my brother's son?"

3.   Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.

4.   Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.

5.   The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.

6.   Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.

7.   Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.

8.   In the Olympic Games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java.

9.   Eventually, the Romans conquered the Greeks. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long.

10.  Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: "Tee hee, Brutus."

11.  Nero was a cruel tyranny who would torture his subjects by playing the fiddle to them.

12.  Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was canonized by Bernard Shaw. Finally Magna Carta provided that no man should be hanged twice for the same offense.

13.  In midevil times most people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the futile ages was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verses and also wrote literature.

14.  Another story was William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son's head.

15.  Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted "hurrah."

 roflmao  roflmao  roflmao
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deedee
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Actual Answers to GCSE Questions (allegedly) « Reply #1 on: February 04, 2006, 06:31 PM »
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roflmao Oh my god... Where do they keep coming from, Bev? Wink
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Bevc
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I'd give up chocolate but I'm no quitter!

Actual Answers to GCSE Questions (allegedly) « Reply #2 on: February 04, 2006, 06:38 PM »
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Work!

I've only printed half of these GCSE one's - saving them for a quiet day.

But good eh?
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deedee
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Actual Answers to GCSE Questions (allegedly) « Reply #3 on: February 04, 2006, 06:39 PM »
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Most of them were hilarious... =D>
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Banannie
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Actual Answers to GCSE Questions (allegedly) « Reply #4 on: February 04, 2006, 06:41 PM »
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roflmao I can just  see me writing some stupid stuff like that when i have to do them Rolling Eyes
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eira_arian
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Actual Answers to GCSE Questions (allegedly) « Reply #5 on: February 04, 2006, 06:51 PM »
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And theres always the good old - Columbas circumcised the world with a 90ft Clipper.

Clearly its meant to be circumnavigated Wink
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top_spin
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Actual Answers to GCSE Questions (allegedly) « Reply #6 on: February 04, 2006, 07:46 PM »
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Quote
8. In the Olympic Games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java.


roflmao Bev thanks for all of these!!! Smile
Hilarious... i can also see myself writting something stupid like that!!  Whistle
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Riverman
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Hello

Actual Answers to GCSE Questions (allegedly) « Reply #7 on: February 04, 2006, 07:57 PM »
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Hehehe... excellent Bev! Smile

I have some of these, I will post soon... Wink (Not GCSE answers, just some really funny stuff lol)
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~Lola~
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Actual Answers to GCSE Questions (allegedly) « Reply #8 on: February 04, 2006, 10:34 PM »
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Quote
A myth is a female moth.


 roflmao  Funny stuff! Thanks!
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iaintheviolaplayer
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Actual Answers to GCSE Questions (allegedly) « Reply #9 on: February 04, 2006, 11:49 PM »
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the last one is good
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arka
Actual Answers to GCSE Questions (allegedly) « Reply #10 on: February 05, 2006, 04:01 AM »
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I am from India so could someone please explain the education system in Britain
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iaintheviolaplayer
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Actual Answers to GCSE Questions (allegedly) « Reply #11 on: February 05, 2006, 08:11 AM »
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thta could be complicated cos there are different systems in different parts of the country
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top_spin
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Actual Answers to GCSE Questions (allegedly) « Reply #12 on: February 05, 2006, 04:06 PM »
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Erm.. well this is how it's like at my school (i think typical system...)

4-11 years old - Junior School
11-16 years old - Senior School (take GCSEs at the age of 16.. that is cumpulsory. After you can either go to work or go to college)
16-18 years old - College (take A Levels at 18... these grades will get you into university.. hopefully) Rolling Eyes
And then you go to university... and take your degrees etc.
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Banannie
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Actual Answers to GCSE Questions (allegedly) « Reply #13 on: February 05, 2006, 04:08 PM »
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.....that's the English/Welsh system, it's different in Scotland i believe  Think
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Actual Answers to GCSE Questions (allegedly) « Reply #14 on: February 05, 2006, 04:12 PM »
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confused Is it? Ah.. well i can just get to grips with knowing the English/Welsh system..
This is what i found on it..... hope it explains a bit better.

Primary and Secondary

In Scotland, primary school runs from age 4/5 for 7 years and High School (both private schools and state schools) runs for up to 6 years. After 4 years of High School children are usually 15 & 16 and sit Standard Grade exams (usually 7). A few children leave school at this point, there is no obligation to graduate from High School as there is in the US and pupils may leave at any time after the age of 16. After 5 years of High School, pupils sit Highers. These can be used for going to university in Scotland and pupils generally sit about 5. Year 5 starts as soon as the Standard grade exams are over, i.e. the end of May, and pupils who have to change schools to take Highers do so at this point. At University level, Scottish courses are generally one year longer than their English counterparts. An 'ordinary' degree usually takes three years in Scotland, an honours degree takes four years.

Leaving School
About 7% of the students intending to go to further education leave school at this point, aged 16/17. The remainder stay on for 6th year, to do Advanced Highers, additional Highers, resits or other subjects. Advanced Highers are of a standard above that of A-levels and constitute the equivalent of the first year of a university degree. Advanced Highers are necessary for entrance to English universities for subjects studied at both school and university. A small number of Scottish schools offer A-levels.

Exam options
Pupils can study GSVQ's, NC modules, Standard grades, Higher grades, A levels and possibly even Higher National Certificate at school. There is also an 'Advanced Higher' which has replaced Certificates of Sixth Year Studies.

Comparisons with England
The Scottish "Higher" system is generally regarded as superior to that in England for a number of reasons:
1) It is possible to fail one or two Highers and still have enough qaulifications to enter university. Less pressure is put on pupils to pass everything at the first attempt.
2) It is possible to use 6th year to resit Highers and gain additional qualifications. In England, there is no time to do this if you fail an important exam, the resits are in December (There are Tertiary College courses to cater for pupils whose grades were not up to standard.)
3) Pupils study a wider range of subjects, offering the opportunity for a broader education and perhaps a vocational subject.
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