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Bevc
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Posts: 35,110

Gender: Female
Location: Cambridge - New Zealand


I'd give up chocolate but I'm no quitter!

Disorder in the American Courts « on: February 08, 2006, 03:19 PM »
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These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
 
Q: Are you sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there.
_________________________________
 
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 15th.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
__________________________________
 
Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
__________________________________
 
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?
_____________________________________
 
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
_____________________________________
 
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I. Doris?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
______________________________________
 
Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.
______________________________________
 
Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
 
___________________________________
 
Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
 
_____________________________________


 roflmao  Just came across this whilst sorting out some old files!  Only given you part of it though!  Save rest for quiet day.
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eira_arian
John McEnroe
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Disorder in the American Courts « Reply #1 on: February 08, 2006, 03:23 PM »
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roflmao genius Bev!! Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy
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KitKat
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Disorder in the American Courts « Reply #2 on: February 08, 2006, 03:25 PM »
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roflmao  That's hilarious Bev.
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deedee
John McEnroe
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Posts: 17,742


Disorder in the American Courts « Reply #3 on: February 08, 2006, 04:10 PM »
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upfunny I would answer that roflmao
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~Lola~
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Flood me with your words - trust me, I can swim

Disorder in the American Courts « Reply #4 on: February 08, 2006, 05:39 PM »
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roflmao  Thanks Bev, I really needed a laugh this afternoon. I have spent the day studying! pullhair
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top_spin
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Disorder in the American Courts « Reply #5 on: February 08, 2006, 10:30 PM »
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roflmao that second one is very good Very Happy
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davew
Disorder in the American Courts « Reply #6 on: February 09, 2006, 09:51 PM »
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"Officer, when you arrested the defenant were your lights and siren on?"

"Yes."

"What did the defendant say when you arrested her?"

"What disco am I at?"

 roflmao


Was it you or your brother that died in the war?
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kwevus
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Location: ireland - not succumbing to shallowville


Let us taste those Murray mints

Disorder in the American Courts « Reply #7 on: February 09, 2006, 09:53 PM »
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loving it loving it FAB!! x(",)x
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Banannie
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Disorder in the American Courts « Reply #8 on: February 10, 2006, 09:09 AM »
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upfunny  upfunny  Love it Bev....thank you!  hug
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Bevc
Murraymaniac
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Posts: 35,110

Gender: Female
Location: Cambridge - New Zealand


I'd give up chocolate but I'm no quitter!

Disorder in the American Courts « Reply #9 on: February 10, 2006, 05:51 PM »
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Quote from: "Banannie"
upfunny  upfunny  Love it Bev....thank you!  hug


Anytime you guys! It's good to  roflmao
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