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Joke of the day

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ChrisMac
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1965 on: August 12, 2014, 10:20 AM »
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 lmao lmao Brilliant Nigel!




Becoming Scottish


Mohammad entered the classroom on his first day of school in Scotland.

"What's your name?" asked the teacher.

“Mohammad," he replied.

“You're in Scotland now," replied the teacher, "So from now on you will be known as Allistair."

Mohammad returned home after school.

"How was your day, Mohammad?" his mother asked.

"My name is not Mohammad. I’m in Scotland and now my name is Allistair."

"Are you ashamed of your name? Are you trying to dishonour your parents, your heritage, your religion? Shame on you!” And his mother beat him. Then she called his father, who beat him again.

The next day Mohammad returned to school.

The teacher saw all of his bruises. "What happened to you, Allistair?” she asked.

"Well, Miss, shortly after becoming a Scotsman, I was attacked by two ******* Arabs."
 
 
 
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Fiverings
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1966 on: August 12, 2014, 11:33 AM »
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^ Eh?  That doesn't make sense on any level.
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Connor
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1967 on: August 12, 2014, 11:42 AM »
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lmao lmao Brilliant Nigel!




Becoming Scottish


Mohammad entered the classroom on his first day of school in Scotland.

"What's your name?" asked the teacher.

“Mohammad," he replied.

“You're in Scotland now," replied the teacher, "So from now on you will be known as Allistair."

Mohammad returned home after school.

"How was your day, Mohammad?" his mother asked.

"My name is not Mohammad. I’m in Scotland and now my name is Allistair."

"Are you ashamed of your name? Are you trying to dishonour your parents, your heritage, your religion? Shame on you!” And his mother beat him. Then she called his father, who beat him again.

The next day Mohammad returned to school.

The teacher saw all of his bruises. "What happened to you, Allistair?” she asked.

"Well, Miss, shortly after becoming a Scotsman, I was attacked by two ******* Arabs."
 
 
 


LOL!
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Caz
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I'd like to be the good person my dog thinks I am!

Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1968 on: August 12, 2014, 01:03 PM »
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lmao lmao Brilliant Nigel!




Becoming Scottish


Mohammad entered the classroom on his first day of school in Scotland.

"What's your name?" asked the teacher.

“Mohammad," he replied.

“You're in Scotland now," replied the teacher, "So from now on you will be known as Allistair."

Mohammad returned home after school.

"How was your day, Mohammad?" his mother asked.

"My name is not Mohammad. I’m in Scotland and now my name is Allistair."

"Are you ashamed of your name? Are you trying to dishonour your parents, your heritage, your religion? Shame on you!” And his mother beat him. Then she called his father, who beat him again.

The next day Mohammad returned to school.

The teacher saw all of his bruises. "What happened to you, Allistair?” she asked.

"Well, Miss, shortly after becoming a Scotsman, I was attacked by two ******* Arabs."
 
 
 

  lmao lmao Great one Chris!
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Allenrain
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1969 on: August 14, 2014, 01:38 PM »
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You guys have probably heard this one before but here you go.

A golfer hooked his tee shot over a hill and onto the next fairway. Walking toward his ball, he saw a man lying on the ground, groaning with pain.

"I'm an attorney," the wincing man said, "and this is going to cost you $5000."

"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry," the concerned golfer replied. "But I did yell 'fore'."

"I'll take it," the attorney said.
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Caz
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I'd like to be the good person my dog thinks I am!

Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1970 on: August 14, 2014, 02:15 PM »
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Nope...It's new to me! Pretty funny though!  lmao Welcome to MW!  Very Happy
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Fiverings
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1971 on: August 15, 2014, 10:19 AM »
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Just rediscovered this old gem. Still makes me laugh though, so thought I'd share it.

My Mother-in-Law started walking 5 miles a day aged 60. She's 97 now and we don't know where the hell she is.
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Caz
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I'd like to be the good person my dog thinks I am!

Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1972 on: August 15, 2014, 10:32 AM »
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^ roflmao roflmao Thanks for brightening a dull day Fiverings!
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Aileen
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1973 on: August 17, 2014, 07:39 AM »
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lol  Thanks everyone for all the recent funnies!
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Fiverings
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1974 on: August 19, 2014, 12:43 PM »
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Funniest one-liner of the Edinburgh Fringe from Tim Vine.

"I've decided to sell my Hoover…. well it was just gathering dust."
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Aileen
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1975 on: August 19, 2014, 05:44 PM »
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Nice one, Fiverings!
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Grabcopy
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1976 on: September 10, 2014, 08:25 AM »
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Police in Bradford today pulled over a Pakistani and were amazed to find the car taxed tested and insured. It wasn't stolen and there were no bombs or weapons found. The car wasn't an illegal taxi and the driver was sober. He had a full license and no points.

A police spokesman said they had no option but to fine him £80 for wasting police time.
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Fiverings
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1977 on: September 10, 2014, 09:35 AM »
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Police in Bradford today pulled over a Pakistani and were amazed to find the car taxed tested and insured. It wasn't stolen and there were no bombs or weapons found. The car wasn't an illegal taxi and the driver was sober. He had a full license and no points.

A police spokesman said they had no option but to fine him £80 for wasting police time.

    Careful!
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1978 on: September 10, 2014, 09:50 AM »
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    Careful!

I didn't write it. I just repeated it. I'm not racist at all. There's typical white crime and white stereotypes as well, you know.
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Fiverings
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1979 on: September 10, 2014, 09:52 AM »
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I didn't write it. I just repeated it. I'm not racist at all. There's typical white crime and white stereotypes as well, you know.
   Sounds a bit like the Nuremberg defence!
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