Was sent this email at work yesterday
Some valid points though................................
Dear Mr. Cameron, (Prime Minster For Now)
Please find below our suggestion for fixing England 's economy.
Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the
money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.
You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:
There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force. Pay
them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the following
1) They MUST retire - ten million job openings - unemployment fixed
2) They MUST buy a new British car. Ten million cars ordered - car
3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - housing
4) They MUST send their kids/grandkids to school/college/university -
Crime rate fixed
5) They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week.....and there's
your money back in duty/tax etc
6) Instead of stuffing around with the carbon emissions trading
schemes that makes us pay for the major polluters, tell the greedy
bastards to reduce their pollution emissions by 75% within 5 years or
we shut them down.
It can't get any easier than that!
And if more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back
their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances
If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know.
If not, please disregard.
Grumpies of the World Unite
Other points you might consider:
Put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home, then
the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks. They'd
also receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical
treatment, wheel chairs etc. They'd have constant video monitoring so
if assistance was needed they'd have immediate help. Bedding would be
washed twice a week, and all clothing would be washed and ironed as
needed. There would be a guard to check on them every 20 minutes and
staff to bring their meals and snacks to their cell.
They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.
They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual
counseling, pool and education.
Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on
There would be private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor
yard, with gardens for anyone who felt the need to exercise.
Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls and there
would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and all guards would
have a code of conduct that would have to be strictly adhered to.
The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised
day and night. Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week; live in a
tiny room and pay £600.00 per week without any hope of ever getting
Think about this (more points of contention):
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that, during the
mad cow epidemic, our government could track a single cow, born almost
three years ago in Appleby, right to the stall where she slept in the
county of Cumbria? And, they even tracked her calves to their
individual stalls.. But they are unable to locate 125,000 illegal
immigrants wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each
illegal immigrant a cow.
THE 10 COMMANDMENTS
The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a
courthouse or Parliament, is this -
You cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal', 'Thou Shalt Not Commit
Adultery' and 'Thou Shall Not Lie' in a building full of lawyers,
judges and politicians..... It creates a hostile work environment.