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The Female Demerit System

 In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy.  Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES

You make the bed (+2
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) in the rain (+8)
But return with Beer (-5)
You check out a suspicious noise at night (+1)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with an iron rod (+10)
It's her pet (-20)

SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS

You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with an old school friend (-2)
Named Tina (-10)
Tina is an exotic dancer (-20)
Tina has silicone implants (-80)

HER BIRTHDAY

You take her out to dinner (+2)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+3)
Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team (-10)

A NIGHT OUT

You take her to a movie (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It's called 'Death Cop' (-3)

You lie and say it is a film about reunited long lost lovers (-20)

YOUR PHYSIQUE

You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)

THE BIG QUESTION
She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) (Yes, you lose points no matter what)
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
Any other response (-20)

COMMUNICATION

When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)

You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-4000)
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 lmao lmao lmao lmao OMG OMG OMG ....
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Brilliant! lol
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Caz
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Whoever wrote that...........got it sooooo right! w00t
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   UPDATE ON MY FRIENDS SURGERY

        .

I tried to keep this a secret, but somehow the

news leaked out about it, so I thought I had

better tell everyone.

.

Dear Family and Friends,
.
Most of you know my friend went in for a surgical
procedure an -

Arse Lift.

She didn't have the
most pleasant experience. She should've left
well enough alone.
.
I wanted to show you how it turned out.  I
hope this keeps YOU from having this done.
.
Please, PLEASE, PLEASE . . . don't get an
Arse Lift.  You will most certainly regret it !!!


















* image002.jpg (33.79 KB, 468x546 - viewed 128 times.)
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^ Good God!!  yuk
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DOESN’T ANYONE LISTEN...

 

I DON’T WANT TO HAVE A BATH !!!



* image002.jpg (42.23 KB, 853x640 - viewed 37 times.)
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Caz
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 roflmao roflmao w00t
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Oh my .... ^^ lol
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^^ lmao
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Miss Airport 2011 Calendar



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Caz
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Miss Airport 2011 Calendar


She must've overdone it a bit with the diet! I like her shoes though! w00t
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^^ Very clever - in a bizarre sort of way
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[ Last edit by tennis_girl May 29, 2011, 09:22 PM ] IP Logged
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lol
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