Home Search Calendar Help Login Register
Did you miss your activation email?
MurraysWorld Discussions  >  General Community  >  Chit Chat  >  Funny Images 0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic. « previous next »
Pages: 1 ... 45 46 47 [48] 49 50 Go Down Reply
Author

Funny Images

 (Read 30449 times)
Bevc
Murraymaniac
**********
Posts: 36,040

Gender: Female
Location: Cambridge - New Zealand


I'd give up chocolate but I'm no quitter!

Re: Internet Memes & Funny Images « Reply #705 on: April 18, 2011, 10:54 AM »
Reply

The Female Demerit System

 In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy.  Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES

You make the bed (+2
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) in the rain (+8)
But return with Beer (-5)
You check out a suspicious noise at night (+1)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with an iron rod (+10)
It's her pet (-20)

SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS

You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with an old school friend (-2)
Named Tina (-10)
Tina is an exotic dancer (-20)
Tina has silicone implants (-80)

HER BIRTHDAY

You take her out to dinner (+2)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+3)
Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team (-10)

A NIGHT OUT

You take her to a movie (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It's called 'Death Cop' (-3)

You lie and say it is a film about reunited long lost lovers (-20)

YOUR PHYSIQUE

You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)

THE BIG QUESTION
She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) (Yes, you lose points no matter what)
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
Any other response (-20)

COMMUNICATION

When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)

You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-4000)
IP Logged
Daisy
John McEnroe
*********
Posts: 19,792



Re: Internet Memes & Funny Images « Reply #706 on: April 18, 2011, 04:15 PM »
Reply

 lmao lmao lmao lmao OMG OMG OMG ....
IP Logged
Aileen
Murraymaniac
**********
Posts: 36,992

Gender: Female
Location: Edinburgh


Re: Internet Memes & Funny Images « Reply #707 on: April 19, 2011, 02:39 AM »
Reply

Brilliant! lol
IP Logged
Caz
Murraymaniac
**********
Posts: 22,546


I'd like to be the good person my dog thinks I am!

Re: Internet Memes & Funny Images « Reply #708 on: April 19, 2011, 06:19 AM »
Reply

Whoever wrote that...........got it sooooo right! w00t
IP Logged
Bevc
Murraymaniac
**********
Posts: 36,040

Gender: Female
Location: Cambridge - New Zealand


I'd give up chocolate but I'm no quitter!

Re: Internet Memes & Funny Images « Reply #709 on: April 27, 2011, 11:12 AM »
Reply

   UPDATE ON MY FRIENDS SURGERY

        .

I tried to keep this a secret, but somehow the

news leaked out about it, so I thought I had

better tell everyone.

.

Dear Family and Friends,
.
Most of you know my friend went in for a surgical
procedure an -

Arse Lift.

She didn't have the
most pleasant experience. She should've left
well enough alone.
.
I wanted to show you how it turned out.  I
hope this keeps YOU from having this done.
.
Please, PLEASE, PLEASE . . . don't get an
Arse Lift.  You will most certainly regret it !!!


















* image002.jpg (33.79 KB, 468x546 - viewed 127 times.)
IP Logged
Elly
Murraymaniac
**********
Posts: 28,845

Gender: Female
Location: The Heart of Shallowville


The mind doubts, but the heart never does.

Re: Internet Memes & Funny Images « Reply #710 on: April 27, 2011, 11:17 AM »
Reply

^ Good God!!  yuk
IP Logged
Bevc
Murraymaniac
**********
Posts: 36,040

Gender: Female
Location: Cambridge - New Zealand


I'd give up chocolate but I'm no quitter!

Re: Internet Memes & Funny Images « Reply #711 on: April 27, 2011, 11:18 AM »
Reply

DOESN’T ANYONE LISTEN...

 

I DON’T WANT TO HAVE A BATH !!!



* image002.jpg (42.23 KB, 853x640 - viewed 36 times.)
IP Logged
Caz
Murraymaniac
**********
Posts: 22,546


I'd like to be the good person my dog thinks I am!

Re: Internet Memes & Funny Images « Reply #712 on: April 27, 2011, 11:58 AM »
Reply

 roflmao roflmao w00t
IP Logged
Daisy
John McEnroe
*********
Posts: 19,792



Re: Internet Memes & Funny Images « Reply #713 on: April 27, 2011, 02:25 PM »
Reply

Oh my .... ^^ lol
IP Logged
Aileen
Murraymaniac
**********
Posts: 36,992

Gender: Female
Location: Edinburgh


Re: Internet Memes & Funny Images « Reply #714 on: April 28, 2011, 03:49 AM »
Reply

^^ lmao
IP Logged
Bevc
Murraymaniac
**********
Posts: 36,040

Gender: Female
Location: Cambridge - New Zealand


I'd give up chocolate but I'm no quitter!

Re: Internet Memes & Funny Images « Reply #715 on: May 24, 2011, 08:47 AM »
Reply

Miss Airport 2011 Calendar



* mime-attachment1.jpg (8.07 KB, 300x210 - viewed 94 times.)

* mime-attachment2.jpg (9.66 KB, 300x211 - viewed 99 times.)

* mime-attachment3.jpg (8.88 KB, 300x211 - viewed 98 times.)

* mime-attachment4.jpg (8.45 KB, 300x210 - viewed 97 times.)

* mime-attachment5.jpg (10.65 KB, 300x212 - viewed 96 times.)

* mime-attachment6.jpg (7.68 KB, 300x212 - viewed 97 times.)

* mime-attachment7.jpg (8.63 KB, 300x211 - viewed 100 times.)

* mime-attachment8.jpg (8.45 KB, 300x210 - viewed 95 times.)

* mime-attachment9.jpg (8.64 KB, 300x212 - viewed 100 times.)

* mime-attachment10.jpg (9 KB, 300x210 - viewed 96 times.)

* mime-attachment11.jpg (8.13 KB, 300x210 - viewed 97 times.)

* mime-attachment12.jpg (9.65 KB, 300x211 - viewed 96 times.)
IP Logged
Caz
Murraymaniac
**********
Posts: 22,546


I'd like to be the good person my dog thinks I am!

Re: Internet Memes & Funny Images « Reply #716 on: May 24, 2011, 08:55 AM »
Reply

Miss Airport 2011 Calendar


She must've overdone it a bit with the diet! I like her shoes though! w00t
IP Logged
Aileen
Murraymaniac
**********
Posts: 36,992

Gender: Female
Location: Edinburgh


Re: Internet Memes & Funny Images « Reply #717 on: May 25, 2011, 01:12 AM »
Reply

^^ Very clever - in a bizarre sort of way
IP Logged
tennis_girl
World No 1
*******
Posts: 10,789

Gender: Female


Re: Internet Memes & Funny Images « Reply #718 on: May 29, 2011, 09:14 PM »
Reply



[ Last edit by tennis_girl May 29, 2011, 09:22 PM ] IP Logged
Hazybear
Grand Slam Champion
********
Posts: 13,853

Gender: Female
Location: Livingston


Re: Internet Memes & Funny Images « Reply #719 on: May 29, 2011, 09:26 PM »
Reply

lol
IP Logged
Pages: 1 ... 45 46 47 [48] 49 50 Go Up Reply 
« previous next »