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Topic: Funny Images (Read 27971 times)
Bevc
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Posts: 34,238
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Location: Cambridge - New Zealand
I'd give up chocolate but I'm no quitter!
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Re: Internet Memes & Funny Images
« Reply #735 on: October 04, 2011, 08:48 AM »
WINDOWS VS FORD
For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated,
'If Ford had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon!
In response to Bill's comments, Ford issued a press release stating:
If Ford had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash.........Twice a day.
2.. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3... Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five per cent of the roads.
6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single 'This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation' warning light.
I love the next one!!!
7. The airbag system would ask 'Are you sure?' before deploying.
8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
10. You'd have to press the 'Start' button to turn the engine off.
PS - I 'd like to add that when all else fails, you could call 'customer service' in some foreign country and be instructed in some foreign language how to fix your car yourself!!!!
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Caz
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I'd like to be the good person my dog thinks I am!
Re: Internet Memes & Funny Images
« Reply #736 on: October 04, 2011, 08:56 AM »
Luv it Bev! Thanks
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Bevc
Murraymaniac
Posts: 34,238
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Location: Cambridge - New Zealand
I'd give up chocolate but I'm no quitter!
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Re: Internet Memes & Funny Images
« Reply #737 on: October 04, 2011, 09:08 AM »
Welcome to the London Olympics and the looters prayer
The Looters Prayer
Our father,
who art in prison,
my mum knows not his name,
thy Riots come,
read it in "The Sun"
in Birmingham, as it is in London,
give us this day our Welfare bread
and forgive us our looting,
as we are happy to loot those who defend stuff against us.
Lead us not into employment
but deliver us free housing,
for thine is the Facebook
the Blackberry & the Twitter,
forever and ever...
Innit
Welcomet.jpg
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Welcomet1.jpg
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Welcomet2.jpg
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Welcomet3.jpg
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Welcomet4.jpg
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Bevc
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Location: Cambridge - New Zealand
I'd give up chocolate but I'm no quitter!
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Re: Internet Memes & Funny Images
« Reply #738 on: October 04, 2011, 09:27 AM »
Amazing
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Mark
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Re: Funny Images
« Reply #739 on: October 12, 2011, 12:12 AM »
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Bevc
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Posts: 34,238
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Location: Cambridge - New Zealand
I'd give up chocolate but I'm no quitter!
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Re: Funny Images
« Reply #740 on: March 07, 2012, 09:23 AM »
Warning: this topic has not been posted in for at least 120 days.
Unless you're sure you want to reply, please consider starting a new topic.
Gosh, things must have been a bit serious around here for the last 4 months
Time to change all that
Sorry, had to reduce file size (therefore print size) but you sould be able to see the headlines better if you click on the link at the bottom and view on your own computer - a tad lazy of me not to post them all individually I know
Today's headlines.png
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Hazybear
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Location: Livingston
Re: Funny Images
« Reply #741 on: March 07, 2012, 11:23 AM »
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Bevc
Murraymaniac
Posts: 34,238
Gender:
Location: Cambridge - New Zealand
I'd give up chocolate but I'm no quitter!
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Re: Funny Images
« Reply #742 on: April 27, 2012, 10:38 AM »
http://lovedbdb.com/nudemenClock/index2.html
Click on the clock to make it go to digital
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