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Joke of the day

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Aileen
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #2010 on: November 28, 2014, 08:53 AM »
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Lexophilia is a word used to describe those that have a love for words, such as
"you can tune a  piano, but you can't tuna fish", or "to write with a broken
pencil is  pointless."

A competition to see who can come up with the best lexophiles is held every year
in an undisclosed  location. This year's winning submission is posted at the very  end.

 .. When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.

  .. A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

  .. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.

  .. The batteries were given out free of charge.

  .. A dentist and a manicurist married.  They fought tooth and nail.

  .. A will is a dead giveaway.

  .. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

  .. A boiled egg is hard to beat.

  .. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

  .. Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

  .. Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now.

  .. A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.

  .. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

  .. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.

  .. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

  .. When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye.

  .. Acupuncture is a jab well done.  That's the point of it.


 AND THE CREAM OF THIS YEAR'S TWISTED CROP -

 .. Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.
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Caz
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I'd like to be the good person my dog thinks I am!

Re: Joke of the day « Reply #2011 on: November 28, 2014, 08:58 AM »
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 lmao Thanks Aileen.....Some really clever ones there!
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Fiverings
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Andy Murray - Tennis Legend

Re: Joke of the day « Reply #2012 on: November 28, 2014, 10:12 AM »
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Looks like a posh name for the old-fashioned pun, but there are some good ones there! Here's my contribution - "Aye, aye, matey", said the old pirate as he blew out the candles on his birthday cake.
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Aileen
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #2013 on: November 28, 2014, 08:46 PM »
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lol Thanks Fiverings.  Of course it's the new word for pun, but then that seems to be what happens these days - if there's a short word for something, then make it longer and posher, e.g. the once simple description of a 'bank teller' is now 'Customer Service Assistant'!
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