MurraysWorld  >  Chit Chat  >  Joke of the day
Pages: 1 ... 117 118 119 [120] 121 122 123 ... 143 Reply

Joke of the day

Quote

Yeah, my penis is so small I have 8 year old girls wanting to latch onto it. Wink

Is this some kind of sick joke?
IP Logged
Quote

Is this some kind of sick joke?

It was said in jest about recent events, not meant to be sick.
IP Logged
Quote

It's not funny.
IP Logged
Quote

It's not funny.

Reassuring.
IP Logged
Quote

THESE SIGNS ARE GENUINE -

In an office:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER....... PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

Outside a second-hand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR

Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK).
IP Logged
Caz
Quote

 lmao Thanks Aileen......It's nice to start the day with a chuckle!  Very Happy
IP Logged
Quote

Joke of the day.........US open schedulers!!!
IP Logged
Quote

Joke of the day.........US open schedulers!!!

Seriously, shut up.
IP Logged
Quote

 lmao So very true Aileen, you just have to laugh!
IP Logged
Caz
Quote

Joke of the day.........US open schedulers!!!
lmao Ain't that the truth!  Rolling Eyes Nice one Angie!
IP Logged
Quote

Joke of the day.........US open schedulers!!!
They would be funny if they weren't so pathetic. Rolling Eyes
IP Logged
Quote

It was said in jest about recent events, not meant to be sick.

With the greatest of respect and not wishing to "go off on one", there are some things that one really shouldn't even jest about. This sort of stuff falls within that category. Please:-)
IP Logged
Quote

A man and an ostrich walk into a restaurant. The waitress asks, "What will it be?"

The man replied "a burger and a coke." "And you?" "I'll have the same," the ostrich replies. They
finish their meal and pay.

"That will be $4.50," The man reached into his pocket and pulled out the exact amount. They do this every day till Friday.

"The usual?" she asked. "No, today is Friday. I'll have steak and a coke."

"Me too." says the ostrich. They finish and pay. "That will be $10.95"

The man reached in and pulls out the exact amount again just like all week.

The waitress was dumb-founded. "How is it that you always have the exact amount?"

"Well," says the man. "I was cleaning my attic and I found a dusty lamp. I rubbed it and a
 genie appeared."

Wow!" said the waitress. "What did you wish for?"

"I asked that when I needed to pay for something, the exact amount would appear in my
pocket."

"Amazing! Most people would ask for a million dollars. But what's with the ostrich?"

"Well," said the man. "I also asked for a chick with long legs."
IP Logged
Caz
Quote

A man and an ostrich walk into a restaurant. The waitress asks, "What will it be?"

The man replied "a burger and a coke." "And you?" "I'll have the same," the ostrich replies. They
finish their meal and pay.

"That will be $4.50," The man reached into his pocket and pulled out the exact amount. They do this every day till Friday.

"The usual?" she asked. "No, today is Friday. I'll have steak and a coke."

"Me too." says the ostrich. They finish and pay. "That will be $10.95"

The man reached in and pulls out the exact amount again just like all week.

The waitress was dumb-founded. "How is it that you always have the exact amount?"

"Well," says the man. "I was cleaning my attic and I found a dusty lamp. I rubbed it and a
 genie appeared."

Wow!" said the waitress. "What did you wish for?"

"I asked that when I needed to pay for something, the exact amount would appear in my
pocket."

"Amazing! Most people would ask for a million dollars. But what's with the ostrich?"

"Well," said the man. "I also asked for a chick with long legs."
  roflmao Good one Aileen! It reminds me of the one where the guy wished for a willie that touched the ground and his legs fell off!  w00t
IP Logged
Quote

lmao
IP Logged
Pages: 1 ... 117 118 119 [120] 121 122 123 ... 143 Reply