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Joke of the day

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Coldmarek
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1905 on: March 03, 2014, 11:03 PM »
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Two couples go away on a two-week holiday together. After a week they are thoroughly bored. The men decide that if they change partners maybe life will take on new meaning. They all agree that it's an experiment worth trying. The morning after the exchange, one fellow says: ''I'm glad we tried this. It was exhilarating. Come on, let's go in the other room and see how the girls got on.''


 shocking
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The Gnome
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1906 on: March 03, 2014, 11:32 PM »
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While laying in bed with my Husband last night, he asked me what i'd most like to do to his body.
 
"Identify it" apparantly wasn't the right answer.
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Aileen
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1907 on: March 11, 2014, 10:23 PM »
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lmao
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Caz
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1908 on: March 12, 2014, 10:12 AM »
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 lmao Nice one Gnome!
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ChrisMac
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1909 on: March 12, 2014, 10:25 AM »
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 thumb up lol
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Coldmarek
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1910 on: March 17, 2014, 11:29 PM »
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Might be old,but difference between men and women:

1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.
2. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
3. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
4. To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot & love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot & not try to understand her at all.
5. Married men live longer than single men - but married men are a lot more willing to die.
6. Any married man should forget his mistakes - there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
7. Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
8. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change & she does.
9. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
10. There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage & after marriage.
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Aileen
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1911 on: March 18, 2014, 12:11 AM »
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lol  Good one Coldmarek.
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Coldmarek
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1912 on: March 20, 2014, 09:43 PM »
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How many women does it take to change a light bulb? 11, 10 to form a committee and 1 to get her boyfriend to do it.
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Elly
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1913 on: March 20, 2014, 09:46 PM »
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How many women does it take to change a light bulb? 11, 10 to form a committee and 1 to get her boyfriend to do it.
How many pre-menstrual women does it take to change a light bulb?

JUST ONE - OK????
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Coldmarek
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1914 on: March 20, 2014, 09:59 PM »
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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because feminists can't change anything.
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Elly
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1915 on: March 20, 2014, 10:01 PM »
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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because feminists can't change anything.
Oooft!  (Half Smiley Thingy)
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Coldmarek
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1916 on: March 24, 2014, 11:25 PM »
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A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.

She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."
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Coldmarek
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1917 on: March 24, 2014, 11:26 PM »
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This blonde cop stops a blonde driver and asks for identification.
The blonde driver looks all around in her purse and can’t find her license. “I must have left it at home, officer.”
“Well, do you have any kind of identification on you?” asks the cop.
The blonde takes out a pocket mirror and says, “I do have this picture of me.”
“Let me see it,” says the cop. She holds up the mirror and looks in it. Then she says, “Sorry. If I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn’t have stopped you.”
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Coldmarek
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1918 on: March 24, 2014, 11:27 PM »
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A blonde and a redhead met for dinner after work and were watching the 6 o'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead replied, "I'll take that bet!"
Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50 she owned. The redhead said, "I can't take this, you're my friend." The blonde said, "No. A bet's a bet."
So the redhead said, "Listen, I have to admit, I saw this one on the 5 o'clock news, so I can't take your money."
The blonde replied, "Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!"
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Aileen
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1919 on: March 25, 2014, 01:02 AM »
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lol  Nice ones!  Thanks.
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