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Joke of the day

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Coldmarek
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Andy Murray is better than you.

Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1920 on: March 30, 2014, 11:46 AM »
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Boy: "I got an F in arithmetic."
Father: "Why?"
Boy: "The teacher asked 'How much is 2×3?' and I said '6'"
Father: "But that's right!" Boy: "Then she asked me 'How much is 3×2?'"
Father: "What's the ******* difference?"
Boy: "That's exactly what I said!"
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Spiritinthesky
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1921 on: April 19, 2014, 07:48 AM »
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A guy walks into a shop and says: “I’d like a gas cap for my KIA.” The owner thinks for a few seconds and replies: “Ok, that seems like a fair trade.”
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Caz
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I'd like to be the good person my dog thinks I am!

Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1922 on: April 19, 2014, 09:52 AM »
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A guy walks into a shop and says: “I’d like a gas cap for my KIA.” The owner thinks for a few seconds and replies: “Ok, that seems like a fair trade.”
  lmao Nice one! Welcome to MW!  Smile
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deb
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I'd like to be impartial, but I can't!

Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1923 on: April 19, 2014, 09:56 AM »
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A guy walks into a shop and says: “I’d like a gas cap for my KIA.” The owner thinks for a few seconds and replies: “Ok, that seems like a fair trade.”
  roflmao welcome
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ChrisMac
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1924 on: April 19, 2014, 11:59 AM »
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A guy walks into a shop and says: “I’d like a gas cap for my KIA.” The owner thinks for a few seconds and replies: “Ok, that seems like a fair trade.”

 thumb up lmao lmao  welcome to the forum
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Grabcopy
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I know I'm paranoid. But am I paranoid enough?

Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1925 on: April 21, 2014, 12:35 AM »
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Two dwarfs go into a bar where they pick up two working girls and take them to their separate hotel rooms for a little extra curricular.

The first dwarf, however, is unable to get an erection.

His depression is made worse by the fact that, from the next room, he
hears his friend shouting out cries of, "Here I come again! ONE, TWO, THREE ......UGH!" "Here I come again! ONE, TWO, THREE...UGH!" "Here I come again! ONE, TWO, THREE... UGH!" This goes on for the whole hour.

Later, back at the bar, the second dwarf asks the first, " How did it go?"

The first mutters, "It was embarrassing. I just couldn't get an erection."

The second dwarf shook his head. "You think that's embarrassing. I couldn't even get on the bed."
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Aileen
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1926 on: April 21, 2014, 04:06 AM »
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lmao  Thanks Nigel.
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ChrisMac
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1927 on: April 21, 2014, 10:14 AM »
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 roflmao roflmao roflmao roflmao love it, thanks Nigel!
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Spiritinthesky
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1928 on: April 25, 2014, 08:23 AM »
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A couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word.

An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the wife sarcastically asked, "relatives of yours?"

"Yep," the husband replied, "In-laws."
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ChrisMac
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1929 on: April 25, 2014, 03:29 PM »
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 lmao  lol
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Aileen
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1930 on: April 25, 2014, 11:18 PM »
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Nice one. lol
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Caz
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I'd like to be the good person my dog thinks I am!

Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1931 on: April 27, 2014, 09:06 AM »
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 lmao :love:Thanks Nigel and Spirit! Loved 'em both!
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Grabcopy
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I know I'm paranoid. But am I paranoid enough?

Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1932 on: April 27, 2014, 02:05 PM »
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A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie.
He decides to test it out at dinner one night.

The father asks his son what he did that afternoon.

The son says, "I did some schoolwork." The robot slaps the son.

The son says, "OK, OK. I was at a friend's house watching movies."
Dad asks, "What movie did you watch?"

Son says, "Toy Story."

The robot slaps the son.

Son says, "OK, OK, we were watching porn."

Dad says, "What? At your age I didn't even know what porn was."
The robot slaps the father.

Mum laughs and says, "Well, he certainly is your son."

The robot slaps the mother.

Robot for sale.

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Connor
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The great British player will be back!

Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1933 on: April 27, 2014, 02:12 PM »
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I knew something like that was coming. Thanks Nigel lol
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Caz
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I'd like to be the good person my dog thinks I am!

Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1934 on: April 27, 2014, 05:22 PM »
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 lmao Good one Nigel!             Paddy goes to the horseracing and the guy standing next to him says " Do you want the winner of the next race?" Paddy answers " No tanks! Me garden's too small!"
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