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Author Topic: Joke of the day  (Read 26252 times)
Hazybear
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #480 on: June 08, 2010, 09:06 PM »
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I'll forgive you lol they do say love is blind after all Whistle
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Annie Binannie
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Aye she does.
Re: Joke of the day « Reply #481 on: June 08, 2010, 09:07 PM »
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I'm watching a shark disection in the name of love, yuuuuuck!
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Hazybear
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #482 on: June 08, 2010, 09:09 PM »
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^Gross  vomit
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Annie Binannie
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Aye she does.
Re: Joke of the day « Reply #483 on: June 08, 2010, 09:10 PM »
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^^ Oh yes...its so not cool Frown
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Buhweet
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #484 on: June 08, 2010, 09:11 PM »
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Quote from: Daisy on May 05, 2010, 09:45 PM
Today's Ebonic word from the

Louisiana Public School System
OMELETTE
Let's use it in a sentence:
'I should pop yo ass fo what you jus did, but omelette dis one slide.'
I like this one!! I got a few of these somewhere I'll try to find them and post.
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Daisy
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #485 on: June 08, 2010, 09:19 PM »
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When I posted that ^ ... a hundred years ago ... I definitely thought of you !!  Very non PC however ... lol
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Buhweet
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #486 on: June 08, 2010, 09:23 PM »
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Quote from: Daisy on June 08, 2010, 09:19 PM
When I posted that ^ ... a hundred years ago ... I definitely thought of you !!  Very non PC however ... lol
Kinda figured that!! I was going over some old stuff here and figured I'd answer........Goz wit da pikcha.....
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tennis_girl
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #487 on: June 13, 2010, 02:34 AM »
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A chicken and an egg are lying in bed.

The chicken is leaning against the headboard, a satisfied smile on its
face.

The egg, looking a bit irritated, grabs the sheet, rolls over, and says,
"Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question!"
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Philip
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #488 on: June 13, 2010, 01:22 PM »
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lmao - so the chicken came first then.  I thought it was the egg  lol.  That is a funny change of topic on the traditional question.
[ Last edit by Philip June 13, 2010, 01:56 PM ] IP Logged
Clydey
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #489 on: June 13, 2010, 01:25 PM »
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Quote from: tennis_girl on June 13, 2010, 02:34 AM
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed.

The chicken is leaning against the headboard, a satisfied smile on its
face.

The egg, looking a bit irritated, grabs the sheet, rolls over, and says,
"Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question!"

Disgusting. Not talking
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tennis_girl
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #490 on: June 13, 2010, 01:26 PM »
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Quote from: Clydey on June 13, 2010, 01:25 PM
Disgusting. Not talking

You're such a prude.
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Bevc
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I'd give up chocolate but I'm no quitter!
Re: Joke of the day « Reply #491 on: July 22, 2010, 09:31 AM »
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During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password:

"MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofyCanberr a" 

When asked why she had such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.

Whistle
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Quackers
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #492 on: July 22, 2010, 09:40 AM »
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roflmao !!!!  I like that! hehe.
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Daisy
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #493 on: July 22, 2010, 10:18 AM »
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^^  lol
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Daisy
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #494 on: July 22, 2010, 04:38 PM »
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MALE V FEMALE AT THE CASH MACHINE

A new sign in the Bank  reads:

'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through cash machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.

Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender.'
*******************************
MALE PROCEDURE:

1... Drive up to the cash machine.

2. LOWER your car window.

3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

6. Raise window.

7. Drive off.

************************* ******
FEMALE PROCEDURE:

(Unfortunately, most of this  is the Truth.!!)



1. Drive up to cash machine.

2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.

3. Put hand brake on, put the window down.

4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

5. Tell person on mobile phone you will call them back and hang up.

6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.

8. Insert card.

9. Re-insert card the right way.

10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.

11. Enter PIN .

12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

13. Enter amount of cash required.

14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

16. Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside.

17. Write debit amount in cheque book and place receipt in back of it.

18. Re-check makeup.

19. Drive forward 2 feet.

20. Reverse back to cash machine.

21. Retrieve card.

22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!

23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.

24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

25. Redial person on mobile phone.

26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

27. Release Hand Brake.
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