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Joke of the day

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Coldmarek
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Andy Murray is better than you.

Re: Joke of the day « Reply #45 on: December 08, 2007, 05:28 PM »
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Can I have some Irish Sausages, please?" asked the Irishman,
walking up to the counter.

The assistant looked at him and asked: "Are you Irish?"
"If I had asked you for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I
was Italian?" demanded the Irishman indignantly. "Or, if I asked
for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German?"

Then, warming to his theme, he went on: "Or if I asked you for a
Kosher hot dog, would you ask me if I was Jewish?" "Or, if I asked you for a taco, would you ask me if I was Mexican? ! Would Ya? Would Ya?"

The assistant said: "Well, no."
Suitably encouraged by the success of his logic, the Irishman
steps it up a gear.

"And if I asked you for frogs legs, would you ask me if I was
French?"

"What about Danish Bacon, would you ask me if I was Danish?"
"Well no, I probably wouldn't" conceded the assistant.

So, now bursting with righteous indignation, the Irishman says:"Well, all
right then, why did you ask me if I'm Irish just because I asked for Irish
sausages?"

The assistant replied: "Because you're in f***ing Homebase"

I dont get this one,but maybe you do
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Neil
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #46 on: December 08, 2007, 05:58 PM »
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It's not very funny to be honest. Too long. But I do get it.


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Coldmarek
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #47 on: December 08, 2007, 06:15 PM »
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ah so,alright
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Yamor
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #48 on: December 08, 2007, 09:01 PM »
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I actually found it quite funny! Thanks, Marek...
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Tommy
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woo hoo

Re: Joke of the day « Reply #49 on: December 09, 2007, 04:12 AM »
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I think its kinda funny.
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Mark
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #50 on: December 09, 2007, 09:30 AM »
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I didn't get it, can someone explain?
[ Last edit by Mark December 09, 2007, 09:30 AM ] IP Logged
Yamor
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #51 on: December 09, 2007, 10:05 AM »
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He wasn't asking if he was Irish because of the type of sausage he wanted, he asked if he was Irish because he wanted to buy sausages in homebase, which is an Irish thing to do!

Tommy, you like Irish jokes???
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rafa
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We have unlimited juice?This party is off the hook

Re: Joke of the day « Reply #52 on: December 09, 2007, 10:13 AM »
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Why is wanting to buy sausages in homebase an Irish thing to do? Rolling Eyes
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Sir Panda
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #53 on: December 09, 2007, 10:44 AM »
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Why is wanting to buy sausages in homebase an Irish thing to do? Rolling Eyes


I thought you did it all the time?! Wink
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invisibleman18
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #54 on: December 09, 2007, 10:50 AM »
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I still don't get it. What does it mean to "be in homebase?" confused
[ Last edit by invisibleman18 December 09, 2007, 10:52 AM ] IP Logged
Sir Panda
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Misunderstood genius.

Re: Joke of the day « Reply #55 on: December 09, 2007, 11:01 AM »
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Homebase is a Home Improvement store and garden centre, with 320 stores across the United Kingdom and the Republic of Ireland. It is well known by its green and orange colour scheme. Its main competitors are B&Q and Focus and in Ireland Atlantic Homecare and B&Q.

Homebase was founded by Sainsbury's supermarket chain and Belgian retailer GB-Inno-BM in 1979 as Sainsbury's Homebase, to bring supermarket-style outlay to the British DIY market. Its first store was in Croydon, opening on the Purley Way on 3 March 1981. Homebase was tripled in size in 1995 with the acquisition of the rival Texas Homecare from the Ladbroke Group plc. These stores were rebranded and redesigned to the Homebase format, the first to be converted being in Longwell Green in Bristol in February 1996 and the Last 60 Texas stores were converted to Homebase in 1999. There are now over 300 nationwide stores.

In October 1999 Sainsbury's bought Hampden Group plc, the franchisee of seven Homebase stores (former Texas stores) in Northern Ireland and three stores in the Republic of Ireland.

Sainsbury's sold the Homebase chain in December 2000 in a two-fold deal worth £969 million. Sales of the chain of stores to venture capitalist Schroder Ventures generated £750 million and sale of 28 development sites, which had been earmarked for future Homebase stores, were sold for £219 million to rival B&Q's parent company, Kingfisher plc. At the time, the chain had 13% of the UK market, behind B&Q and Focus Do It All.

Homebase was later sold on to GUS plc (formerly Great Universal Stores plc) in November 2002 for £900 million, where it formed part of the Argos Retail Group. On 10 October 2006, GUS completed a demerger between its two businesses Experian and ARG. ARG was renamed as, and Homebase now operates as part of, the Home Retail Group.

In early October 2007 it was announced that Home Retail Group, had signed a contract for the purchase of 27 leasehold properties from Focus DIY. The purchase price being paid is £40m in cash. The properties are expected to be transferred over the period up to 31 December 2007 and will then be re-fitted to the Homebase fascia over the course of several months in readiness for the peak Spring period. No other infrastructure and no merchandise stock are being acquired as part of the transaction, although staff in these Focus stores will transfer across to Homebase.

Since August 2006, following a restructuring of the management structure in all 300 stores (300 to 1), the following are management positions held within most Homebase stores.

Store Manager, Trading Manager (Deputy to Store Manager), Service Manager (Front End, Salesfloor, Seasonal, Garden Centre) Showroom Sales Manager, Operations Team Leader

Store Managers are responsible for the smooth running and operation of the entire store. Along with their management team, they are accountable for Health & Safety within their store.

Store Managers are normally ranked 7R in Homebase management gradings.

Trading Managers are responsible for ensuring the store is 'ready to trade'. They head the Trading department alongside the Operations Team Leader. They deputise for the store manager, in the store managers absence.

Trading Managers are normally ranked 5R in Homebase management gradings.

Operations Team Leaders are responsible for delivery customer service through 'On-Shelf Availability'. Their main task is to ensure that the store has sufficient levels of stock to meet customer requirements. With the Trading manager, they lead the Operations and Trading Team. The role can be a diverse and challenging one.

Operations Team Leaders are normally ranked 1R in Homebase management gradings.

Service Managers can be responsible for one or all of the following - Front End, Salesfloor, Seasonal, Garden Centre. Larger stores have 2 or 3 Service managers sharing the departments. Small stores have only 1 Service Manager who is responsible for all these areas.

Service managers are tasked to deliver the 'theatre' of customer service. With their service teams, service managers are the front line of customer service within their store and are usually the first point of contact for customers.

Service Managers are normally ranked 4R in Homebase management gradings.

Showroom Sales Managers run the Showroom and Kitchen & Bathroom departments in a store (that have them)

They are equivalent to a Service Manager in management 'R' levels.

Homebase has three main supply depots in the UK. Octavian Park (Small parts) , Lydiard Fields (Large, Bulky items) and Park Farm (Furniture, plus other bulky items). There are also numerous other depots located in the UK for other stock items.


Homebase also receives direct deliveries to its stores from manufacturers and Vendors.
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eira_arian
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #56 on: December 09, 2007, 11:02 AM »
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http://www.homebase.co.uk/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/StoreCatalogDisplay?langId=-1&storeId=20001
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invisibleman18
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #57 on: December 09, 2007, 11:07 AM »
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Ah. No wonder I didn't get it then having obviously never heard of the store.
So it's apparently a typical Irish thing to buy sausages in this store?
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eira_arian
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #58 on: December 09, 2007, 11:08 AM »
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Er....
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invisibleman18
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #59 on: December 09, 2007, 11:22 AM »
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No that must be wrong. It's an Irish thing to want to buy sausages? confused
Let's just say this joke is completely lost on me having not heard of Homebase, and not understanding what's Irish about buying sausages. Put it down to living in New Zealand. roflmao
[ Last edit by invisibleman18 December 09, 2007, 11:23 AM ] IP Logged
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