Andy Murray vs Robin Haase, Thursday, Time - 1:00pm BST - Discuss the match
MurraysWorld  >  Chit Chat  >  Joke of the day
Pages: 1 ... 89 90 91 [92] 93 94 95 ... 143 Reply

Joke of the day

Quote

IP Logged
Quote

lmao Love it!
IP Logged
Quote

Stole it!
IP Logged
Quote

Good good. Very Happy
IP Logged
Quote

Nice one Mark!! Smile)
IP Logged
Quote

Oh God, nice one Mark...I was laughing my head off.
Now my throat is aching!!
IP Logged
Quote

I take it was your civic duty to send that one in Mark,
IP Logged
Quote

I take it was your civic duty to send that one in Mark,

clap
IP Logged
Quote

Nice one, Robbie.
Hope it's auto transmission. Driver looks one-legged.
IP Logged
Quote

Comedian Stewart Francis has won an award for the funniest joke of the Edinburgh Fringe.

The deadpan Canadian funnyman was given the prize by digital TV channel Dave, whose panel put a selection of their favourites to a public vote.

He won for the joke: "You know who really gives kids a bad name? Posh and Becks."

The British King of the one-liner, Tim Vine, took the runner-up spot for the second year in a row.

Vine, who won the award two years ago, appears twice in the list of 10 jokes compiled by the TV channel, as does Francis.

The top jokes were:

1. Stewart Francis - "You know who really gives kids a bad name? Posh and Becks."

2. Tim Vine - "Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the telly. "

3. Will Marsh - "I was raised as an only child, which really annoyed my sister."

4. Rob Beckett - "You know you're working class when your TV is bigger than your book case."

5. Chris Turner - "I'm good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet… I don't know Y."

6. Tim Vine - "I took part in the sun tanning Olympics - I just got Bronze."

7. George Ryegold - "Pornography is often frowned upon, but that's only because I'm concentrating."

8. Stewart Francis - "I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. Riveting!"

9. Lou Sanders - "I waited an hour for my starter so I complained: 'It's not rocket salad."

10. Nish Kumar - "My mum's so pessimistic, that if there was an Olympics for pessimism… she wouldn't fancy her chances."
IP Logged
Quote

roflmao
IP Logged
Quote

lol
IP Logged
Quote

lmao  Love those!
IP Logged
Quote

A man and woman were having a quiet, romantic dinner in a fine restaurant. They were gazing lovingly at each other and holding hands.

Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few steps away, suddenly noticed the man slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, but the woman acted unconcerned.

The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table.

Still, the woman appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware her dining companion had disappeared.

The waitress went over to the table and said to the woman, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table."

The woman calmly looked up at her and said, "No, he didn't. He just walked in the door."
IP Logged
Caz
Quote

 lmao lmao Nice one Aileen!
IP Logged
Pages: 1 ... 89 90 91 [92] 93 94 95 ... 143 Reply