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Joke of the day

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Coldmarek
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Location: Grays, Essex


Andy Murray is better than you.

Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1515 on: January 03, 2013, 04:28 PM »
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lmao
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Aileen
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1516 on: January 04, 2013, 09:35 PM »
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That goes for me too! Very Happy
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Aileen
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1517 on: January 05, 2013, 12:02 AM »
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John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a
bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.
Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious
and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change
the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words,
playing soft music and anything else he could think of
to 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot.
The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the
parrot got angrier and even more rude. John, in desperation,
threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the
freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked
and screamed.

Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard
for over a minute.

Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened
the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out
onto John's outstretched arms and said: "I believe I may
have offended you with my rude language and actions.
I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions
and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my
rude and unforgivable behaviour."

John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude.

As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a
dramatic change in his behaviour, the bird spoke up, very
softly: "May I ask what the turkey did?"
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Caz
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I'd like to be the good person my dog thinks I am!

Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1518 on: January 05, 2013, 08:07 AM »
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 lmao lmao Good one Aileen!
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Coldmarek
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Andy Murray is better than you.

Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1519 on: January 05, 2013, 11:16 AM »
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lmao lmao
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ChrisMac
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1520 on: January 05, 2013, 12:18 PM »
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 lmao lmao Love it Aileen!
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ChrisMac
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1521 on: January 09, 2013, 11:50 AM »
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POLITICS - THIS IS BRILLIANT EXPLANATION......

A little boy goes to his
dad and asks, 'What is Politics?'
Dad says, 'Well son, let
me try to explain it this way:
I am the head of the
family, so call me The Prime Minister..
Your mother is the
administrator of the money, so we call her the Government.
We are here to take care
of your needs, so we will call you the People.
The nanny, we will
consider her the Working Class.
And your baby brother,
we will call him the Future.
Now think about that and
see if it makes sense.'
So the little boy goes
off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.
Later that night, he
hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him.
He finds that the baby
has severely soiled his diaper.
So the little boy goes
to his parent's room and finds his mother asleep.
Not wanting to wake her,
he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny.
He gives up and goes back to bed.
The next morning, the
little boy say's to his father, 'Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now. '
The father says, 'Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all
about.'
The little boy replies, 'The Prime Minister is screwing the Working Class while the
Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and
the Future is in deep ****.'

 
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Sabine
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^_^

Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1522 on: January 09, 2013, 11:53 AM »
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 roflmao roflmao roflmao

Awesome Chris!!!! Just too good!!!
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Caz
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I'd like to be the good person my dog thinks I am!

Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1523 on: January 09, 2013, 11:55 AM »
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So very true Chris!  lmao lmao
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Littlebuddha
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1524 on: January 09, 2013, 12:33 PM »
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Could not have said it better.
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Aileen
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1525 on: January 09, 2013, 07:58 PM »
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^ Agreed.  Brilliant! lmao  Thanks Chris, that made my day.
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ChrisMac
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1526 on: January 11, 2013, 11:58 AM »
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BLUE BIRD OF HAPPINESS,
MY ARSE!
Do I look happy??
It's Friggin' Freezing.
There's snow up my arse, all the food's covered with 3 feet of this white ****, and you want ME to sing?
Piss Off!! Next year, I'm flyin' to Jamaica and smoking dope!!


 

 
 
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Caz
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I'd like to be the good person my dog thinks I am!

Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1527 on: January 11, 2013, 01:47 PM »
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 lmao lmao
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Coldmarek
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Andy Murray is better than you.

Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1528 on: January 14, 2013, 11:10 PM »
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Very Happy Very Happy
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Coldmarek
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Posts: 5,145

Gender: Female
Location: Grays, Essex


Andy Murray is better than you.

Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1529 on: January 15, 2013, 12:35 AM »
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I find this very amusing
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