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Author Topic: Joke of the day  (Read 39724 times)
Elly
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1590 on: February 13, 2013, 06:12 PM »
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Lady get's a phone call at home...

Voice says,

'Bet you have a tight arse with no hair'...

'Yes' she says, 'But he's watching TV right now - who shall I say is calling?'
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Aileen
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1591 on: February 13, 2013, 06:24 PM »
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lol  Nice one.
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Elly
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1592 on: February 13, 2013, 06:25 PM »
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Quote from: Aileen on February 13, 2013, 06:24 PM
lol  Nice one.
Honest to God - I've laughed and laughed at that the whole day!  Not sure what it says about me!  Very Happy
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Elly
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1593 on: February 18, 2013, 07:09 PM »
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A bin lorry is driving along a street emptying wheelie bins as it goes.  Driver sees at one house the bin hasn't been put out, and in the spirit of kindness knocks on the door.  No answer.  He knocks again, this time a little louder, still no answer.  He knocks one last time - really loud.

Eventually an oriental gentleman comes to the door.  'Harro - can I herp you?' 

'Hi mate', says the bin man - 'Where's ya bin?' 

'I bin on toiret' replies our oriental gent.

Realising he has misunderstood the bin man says 'No mate - where's your dustbin?'

'I dust bin to toiret - I toll you'  says our oriental man

'Listen, you're misunderstanding me', says the binman 'Where's your wheelie bin?'

Our gent looks sheepish and replies

'OK -  I wheelie bin having sex with wife's sister'..

Isn't language just fab.  Very Happy
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Aileen
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1594 on: February 18, 2013, 07:23 PM »
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lmao
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Sabine
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1595 on: February 19, 2013, 04:54 AM »
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^  roflmao
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Caz
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1596 on: February 19, 2013, 08:25 AM »
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Good one Elly!  w00t
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ChrisMac
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1597 on: February 19, 2013, 11:19 AM »
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 roflmao roflmao Brilliant Elly!!!!
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GangstaMurray
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1598 on: February 19, 2013, 12:16 PM »
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Haha Elly that is one hell of a joke Very Happy
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GangstaMurray
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1599 on: February 19, 2013, 12:18 PM »
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Three americans are on a vacation hiking in a jungle in Brazil.

While there, they are attacked by cannibals. The cannibals say they'll eat them if they dont complete 2 tasks. They agree.

The first task is to go in to the center of the jungle and collect eight of of one fruit. The first tourist, Craig collects eight oranges. The second, Bob finds eight grapes. They all sit and wait for the third, Roy but they don't see him so they just go on without him.

The next task is to shove all of the fruit that they collected up their ass showing no emotion on their face. Well Craig gets to two oranges before he starts crying. So they tie him to a stake ready to be burned. Bob gets to six grapes before he starts laughing uncontrollably, and they tie him to the stake too.

Just before the cannibals set alight to the stake Craig says to Bob "Why did you start laughing you could have gone free.", Bob says "Well because I just saw Roy coming out of the woods with eight pineapples."
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Sabine
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1600 on: February 19, 2013, 02:08 PM »
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^ lmao lmao
Love that one Gansgta!
One of the best in recent times...
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Caz
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1601 on: February 19, 2013, 02:25 PM »
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 roflmao Brilliant one Gangsta........Ah nearly fell aff ma chair!  w00t
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ChrisMac
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1602 on: February 19, 2013, 04:36 PM »
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 roflmao roflmao Love it Gangsta!!!!!!!
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Elly
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Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1603 on: February 19, 2013, 08:18 PM »
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Quote from: ChrisMac on February 19, 2013, 11:19 AM
roflmao roflmao Brilliant Elly!!!!
Came from my brother who was in hospital with acute appendicitis and off his tits on morphine!  Very Happy
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Elly
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The mind doubts, but the heart never does.
Re: Joke of the day « Reply #1604 on: February 19, 2013, 08:19 PM »
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Quote from: GangstaMurray on February 19, 2013, 12:18 PM
Three americans are on a vacation hiking in a jungle in Brazil.

While there, they are attacked by cannibals. The cannibals say they'll eat them if they dont complete 2 tasks. They agree.

The first task is to go in to the center of the jungle and collect eight of of one fruit. The first tourist, Craig collects eight oranges. The second, Bob finds eight grapes. They all sit and wait for the third, Roy but they don't see him so they just go on without him.

The next task is to shove all of the fruit that they collected up their ass showing no emotion on their face. Well Craig gets to two oranges before he starts crying. So they tie him to a stake ready to be burned. Bob gets to six grapes before he starts laughing uncontrollably, and they tie him to the stake too.

Just before the cannibals set alight to the stake Craig says to Bob "Why did you start laughing you could have gone free.", Bob says "Well because I just saw Roy coming out of the woods with eight pineapples."
lol
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