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Bevc
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I'd give up chocolate but I'm no quitter!

Mechanical problems............. « on: June 22, 2006, 01:05 AM »
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After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor.

Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers.

Note: Qantas is the only major airline that has never had a major accident.

P = The problem logged by the pilot
S = The solution and action taken by the maintenance people.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

roflmao  =D>
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davew
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Rofl, xbox 360 elite

Re: Mechanical problems............. « Reply #1 on: June 22, 2006, 08:11 AM »
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They wern't by Qantas pilots last time I saw them!   shocking


AND YOU DON'T HAVE IFF ON AIRLINERS! roflmao
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Bevc
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I'd give up chocolate but I'm no quitter!

Re: Mechanical problems............. « Reply #2 on: June 22, 2006, 11:18 AM »
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AND YOU DON'T HAVE IFF ON AIRLINERS! roflmao

'FAA regulations require that all aircraft, military or civilian, flying at an altitude of 10,000 feet or higher in U.S. controlled airspace, must be equipped with an operating IFF transponder system capable of automatic altitude reporting (this is the reason that two of the modes are used by both military and civilian aircraft).'

 dontknow
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davew
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Re: Mechanical problems............. « Reply #3 on: June 22, 2006, 11:23 AM »
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Wow! I didn't know that! These americans are crazy!
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Bevc
Murraymaniac
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I'd give up chocolate but I'm no quitter!

Re: Mechanical problems............. « Reply #4 on: June 22, 2006, 11:27 AM »
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Wow! I didn't know that! These americans are crazy!

Or worried that someone's out to get them!  Wonder why?  Wink
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davidB
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Re: Mechanical problems............. « Reply #5 on: June 22, 2006, 12:50 PM »
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just because!!!! *looks over shoulder*
i'll have to ask my friend about this... he's a pilot for american airlines...
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davew
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Re: Mechanical problems............. « Reply #6 on: June 22, 2006, 12:55 PM »
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I'm gonna have to start learning more about civil aircraft! (If anyone looked at the pics of my room, they might have noticed a dozen or so military aircraft books)
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davidB
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Re: Mechanical problems............. « Reply #7 on: June 22, 2006, 12:59 PM »
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no didnt notice that... got an obsession?
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davew
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Re: Mechanical problems............. « Reply #8 on: June 22, 2006, 01:05 PM »
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I have 3 different flight simulators on my computer... a total of 17 aircraft books woohoo and about 70 model aircraft
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davidB
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Re: Mechanical problems............. « Reply #9 on: June 22, 2006, 01:06 PM »
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yes then... i have an obsession with outer space and quantum mechanics... at least yours is normal...
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davew
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Re: Mechanical problems............. « Reply #10 on: June 22, 2006, 01:08 PM »
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Do you know what the name of the fuels used by SR-71s is? And the model of tanker designed to carry it? Or what the SR-71's REAL name was? Or what music was played at the unveiling of the Boeing 757?
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davidB
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Re: Mechanical problems............. « Reply #11 on: June 22, 2006, 01:09 PM »
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um... no... but i'm sure you do.
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davew
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Re: Mechanical problems............. « Reply #12 on: June 22, 2006, 01:12 PM »
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JP-7, KC-135Q, RS-71 and Pictures At An Exhibition
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davidB
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Re: Mechanical problems............. « Reply #13 on: June 22, 2006, 01:13 PM »
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can you name 2 ways to cause a paradox?
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davew
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Re: Mechanical problems............. « Reply #14 on: June 22, 2006, 01:16 PM »
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No confused
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