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The Phobia Thread.

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Aileen
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Re: The Phobia Thread. « Reply #30 on: February 08, 2013, 05:30 PM »
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I used to have a phobia of death but it's more a less gone now because I've accepted that we all die at some point so no need to worry.

I guess my main phobia now is of spiders... Even at 20 years old I hate the vile bastards and get scared when I see them. But not as much as I used too. Used to have a fear of dogs but that went some how.
A lot of people are terrified of spiders - and there's even a horror film called Arachnophobia.  I used to be scared of them as a child and would scream my head off until the thing was removed.  The same went for moths (mottephobia).  I grew out of it but the sight of both still gives me the creeps, especially spiders.
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Elly
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Re: The Phobia Thread. « Reply #31 on: February 08, 2013, 05:37 PM »
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I used to have a phobia of death but it's more a less gone now because I've accepted that we all die at some point so no need to worry.

I guess my main phobia now is of spiders... Even at 20 years old I hate the vile bastards and get scared when I see them. But not as much as I used too. Used to have a fear of dogs but that went some how.
I think everyone fears death - I mean it's the one thing you can be totally sure of in this life - you're going to leave it (your mortal body) at some point.  It doesn't scare me, but the way it might happen, does.  We'd all hope for a peaceful passing, but it may not be like that.  Who can say?

I don't like spiders - but wouldn't say it's a phobia.  I've developed a technique where I put a glass over them, coaster underneath and then throw them out the window.  I think it's the 'legs' that get you, and the rate that they move!  Not fond of any kind of 'bugs' of any kind, to be honest.  I always think moths will settle in my ear - and the stingers will sting me. 
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Aileen
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Re: The Phobia Thread. « Reply #32 on: February 08, 2013, 06:07 PM »
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I think everyone fears death - I mean it's the one thing you can be totally sure of in this life - you're going to leave it (your mortal body) at some point.  It doesn't scare me, but the way it might happen, does.  We'd all hope for a peaceful passing, but it may not be like that.  Who can say?

I don't like spiders - but wouldn't say it's a phobia.  I've developed a technique where I put a glass over them, coaster underneath and then throw them out the window.  I think it's the 'legs' that get you, and the rate that they move!  Not fond of any kind of 'bugs' of any kind, to be honest.  I always think moths will settle in my ear - and the stingers will sting me. 
I'm a bit apprehensive about death, but like you what really scares me is the manner of my going.  My mother lingered for months from cancer but my Dad died instantly from a coronary.  Whilst the latter is preferable, I'd still like to have just a little time to say goodbye to those nearest me.

Spiders, moths, mice ... I think what really freaks me, and probably a lot of people, is that there isn't any sound, and then you suddenly just see them.  Wasps scare me but at least you can hear them and take appropriate action, and I haven't any hesitation about killing them because they'll sting you just for the hell of it.
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Elly
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Re: The Phobia Thread. « Reply #33 on: February 08, 2013, 06:13 PM »
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I'm a bit apprehensive about death, but like you what really scares me is the manner of my going.  My mother lingered for months from cancer but my Dad died instantly from a coronary.  Whilst the latter is preferable, I'd still like to have just a little time to say goodbye to those nearest me.

Spiders, moths, mice ... I think what really freaks me, and probably a lot of people, is that there isn't any sound, and then you suddenly just see them.  Wasps scare me but at least you can hear them and take appropriate action, and I haven't any hesitation about killing them because they'll sting you just for the hell of it.
Aye - none of us have a choice re our passing - that's the scary thing.  It's the one thing you have no control over, and that's not a nice feeling to get to grips with.  We're all in the same boat there.

Yes - wasps just seem to be pretty useless and cause hurt.  Perhaps they should be human, as they share traits with a lot I know!  Very Happy
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Connor
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Re: The Phobia Thread. « Reply #34 on: February 08, 2013, 06:31 PM »
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Aye - none of us have a choice re our passing - that's the scary thing.  It's the one thing you have no control over, and that's not a nice feeling to get to grips with.  We're all in the same boat there.

Yes - wasps just seem to be pretty useless and cause hurt.  Perhaps they should be human, as they share traits with a lot I know!  Very Happy

We can control it through suicide.
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Elly
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Re: The Phobia Thread. « Reply #35 on: February 08, 2013, 06:35 PM »
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We can control it through suicide.
Not the way forward, hon - honestly it's not. 
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Aileen
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Re: The Phobia Thread. « Reply #36 on: February 08, 2013, 06:52 PM »
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We can control it through suicide.
Can you?  What about people who try and fail and then have to live with the consequences?  I took an overdose of sleeping pills many years ago but survived, although the doctors said I taken enough to kill a horse.  Waking up and finding I was still in this world was absolutely awful and I had to live not only with that but the distress I caused my parents.  I also knew a guy who jumped off the bridge that runs over Waverley Station in Edinburgh.  He too survived but smashed both legs and is now confined to a wheelchair.
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teejay1
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Re: The Phobia Thread. « Reply #37 on: February 08, 2013, 06:57 PM »
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I used to have a weird phobia as a child. The theme music for Doctor Who. I kid you not, it wasn't just dislike, it was a phobia. As a child I could not watch the programme for fear of the music, and if it was advertised, which it often was, I would become hysterical. My brothers and sisters couldn't have the programme on when we were kids because the music frightened me so much. Even now, if I hear the music from around the period of the mid-late 70s or early 80s, my blood runs cold and I feel like I can't breathe. When they brought the programme back in 2005 I was a total nightmare, worrying myself half to death about it and going on about it endlessly. In the end, with the help of someone who was prepared to sit with me when the programme was on, I plucked up the courage to watch, and found they'd rearranged it, so all the elements that used to scare me were no longer there. It's weird though, being scared witless by a piece of music.

I don't like spiders or those ghastly daddy long leg things. They are worse than spiders because the damned things can fly! Gross!

I do suffer a bit with claustrophobia, not the handiest thing for a disabled person. I can't use lifts on my own, and will only do it with someone under duress, and if I go somewhere new I like to sit near a door so that I know I can get out if I need to. My big dread is locking myself in somewhere, even somewhere neutral like the bathroom. I'd go to pieces.

I used to be almost painfully shy as a kid. I know, me! It wore off as I learned that if I wanted to get on in life I had to make myself heard. Now I think I'm quite sociable, but there are situations I still find difficult. I don't like eating in public. If we go out for meals as a family, which we have at times, I always feel a bit weird because the others seem to look forward to it, but I find it an ordeal. I don't even know what it is, I just hate it. I don't really like eating in front of other people at all. I'll do it if I have to, but I really don't like it. Going back to the shyness, the best thing I ever did was enrol in a mainstream college after I left a special school. After spending my entire education surrounded by disabled people, I was mixing with able-bodied students and it was brilliant. Some of them were great to me, and I got to know a bunch of people well. They accepted me, the disability wasn't an issue. One tutor molly-coddled me a bit at first, but once he got to know me and learned that I could look after myself, it was fine. Just one tip though. Never, ever do GNVQ Business and Finance. It is deadly, deadly dull, apart from the marketing module, which I thought was fascinating.

I used to be scared of the thought of dying. I think it's natural. It became easier, and I don't want to preach, when I became a Christian. It made the whole idea of death make more sense somehow. Also, my parents deaths, Dad in 2002, and Mum in 2005, made the thought of death easier. Now I feel that when I go I will just be with Mum and Dad again, which will be good. In a sense their deaths have given me a sense of control over what happens when I go, because I've already decided that I want to be cremated and my ashes buried with my parents. As for the whole process of dying, I really hope I go the way my Dad did. Mum was ill for some time before her heart eventually gave up. Dad was unwell, but his actual death came quickly. It was a shock for us, of course, but better for him in the long run, because he didn't suffer. Losing him was bad enough, the thought of him suffering would have been worse.
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Aileen
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Re: The Phobia Thread. « Reply #38 on: February 08, 2013, 07:16 PM »
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^ Interesting what you say about your phobia of that piece of music because a girl in my year at school used to have a phobia about the English folk song "Greensleeves".  She had absolutely no idea why, but unfortunately for her it was one of our singing teacher's favourites (I guess singing classes went out the window years ago!) and in three of the nearby classrooms you could still hear what was going on there, albeit faintly.  So as it was a small school there wasn't much escape for her and she would sit there literally shaking like a leaf with her hands firmly over her ears - and if our class had to sign it, she'd run out of the room.  Luckily we had a very understanding, if somewhat mystified, teacher.
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Elly
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Re: The Phobia Thread. « Reply #39 on: February 08, 2013, 07:18 PM »
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I used to have a weird phobia as a child. The theme music for Doctor Who. I kid you not, it wasn't just dislike, it was a phobia. As a child I could not watch the programme for fear of the music, and if it was advertised, which it often was, I would become hysterical. My brothers and sisters couldn't have the programme on when we were kids because the music frightened me so much. Even now, if I hear the music from around the period of the mid-late 70s or early 80s, my blood runs cold and I feel like I can't breathe. When they brought the programme back in 2005 I was a total nightmare, worrying myself half to death about it and going on about it endlessly. In the end, with the help of someone who was prepared to sit with me when the programme was on, I plucked up the courage to watch, and found they'd rearranged it, so all the elements that used to scare me were no longer there. It's weird though, being scared witless by a piece of music.

I don't like spiders or those ghastly daddy long leg things. They are worse than spiders because the damned things can fly! Gross!

I do suffer a bit with claustrophobia, not the handiest thing for a disabled person. I can't use lifts on my own, and will only do it with someone under duress, and if I go somewhere new I like to sit near a door so that I know I can get out if I need to. My big dread is locking myself in somewhere, even somewhere neutral like the bathroom. I'd go to pieces.

I used to be almost painfully shy as a kid. I know, me! It wore off as I learned that if I wanted to get on in life I had to make myself heard. Now I think I'm quite sociable, but there are situations I still find difficult. I don't like eating in public. If we go out for meals as a family, which we have at times, I always feel a bit weird because the others seem to look forward to it, but I find it an ordeal. I don't even know what it is, I just hate it. I don't really like eating in front of other people at all. I'll do it if I have to, but I really don't like it. Going back to the shyness, the best thing I ever did was enrol in a mainstream college after I left a special school. After spending my entire education surrounded by disabled people, I was mixing with able-bodied students and it was brilliant. Some of them were great to me, and I got to know a bunch of people well. They accepted me, the disability wasn't an issue. One tutor molly-coddled me a bit at first, but once he got to know me and learned that I could look after myself, it was fine. Just one tip though. Never, ever do GNVQ Business and Finance. It is deadly, deadly dull, apart from the marketing module, which I thought was fascinating.

I used to be scared of the thought of dying. I think it's natural. It became easier, and I don't want to preach, when I became a Christian. It made the whole idea of death make more sense somehow. Also, my parents deaths, Dad in 2002, and Mum in 2005, made the thought of death easier. Now I feel that when I go I will just be with Mum and Dad again, which will be good. In a sense their deaths have given me a sense of control over what happens when I go, because I've already decided that I want to be cremated and my ashes buried with my parents. As for the whole process of dying, I really hope I go the way my Dad did. Mum was ill for some time before her heart eventually gave up. Dad was unwell, but his actual death came quickly. It was a shock for us, of course, but better for him in the long run, because he didn't suffer. Losing him was bad enough, the thought of him suffering would have been worse.
For what it's worth, I think you are immense.  It takes great courage to face adversity and your fears and come through them out the other side.  Never unscathed, I know, but just to write that, and be semi ok with life is such a testament to you.  I'm not sure in what way you're disabled - perhaps you shared it with us earlier, and I didn't see, and I apologise.  You truly are an inspiration.  hug
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Connor
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Re: The Phobia Thread. « Reply #40 on: February 08, 2013, 07:39 PM »
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I used to have a weird phobia as a child. The theme music for Doctor Who. I kid you not, it wasn't just dislike, it was a phobia. As a child I could not watch the programme for fear of the music, and if it was advertised, which it often was, I would become hysterical. My brothers and sisters couldn't have the programme on when we were kids because the music frightened me so much. Even now, if I hear the music from around the period of the mid-late 70s or early 80s, my blood runs cold and I feel like I can't breathe. When they brought the programme back in 2005 I was a total nightmare, worrying myself half to death about it and going on about it endlessly. In the end, with the help of someone who was prepared to sit with me when the programme was on, I plucked up the courage to watch, and found they'd rearranged it, so all the elements that used to scare me were no longer there. It's weird though, being scared witless by a piece of music.

I don't like spiders or those ghastly daddy long leg things. They are worse than spiders because the damned things can fly! Gross!

I do suffer a bit with claustrophobia, not the handiest thing for a disabled person. I can't use lifts on my own, and will only do it with someone under duress, and if I go somewhere new I like to sit near a door so that I know I can get out if I need to. My big dread is locking myself in somewhere, even somewhere neutral like the bathroom. I'd go to pieces.

I used to be almost painfully shy as a kid. I know, me! It wore off as I learned that if I wanted to get on in life I had to make myself heard. Now I think I'm quite sociable, but there are situations I still find difficult. I don't like eating in public. If we go out for meals as a family, which we have at times, I always feel a bit weird because the others seem to look forward to it, but I find it an ordeal. I don't even know what it is, I just hate it. I don't really like eating in front of other people at all. I'll do it if I have to, but I really don't like it. Going back to the shyness, the best thing I ever did was enrol in a mainstream college after I left a special school. After spending my entire education surrounded by disabled people, I was mixing with able-bodied students and it was brilliant. Some of them were great to me, and I got to know a bunch of people well. They accepted me, the disability wasn't an issue. One tutor molly-coddled me a bit at first, but once he got to know me and learned that I could look after myself, it was fine. Just one tip though. Never, ever do GNVQ Business and Finance. It is deadly, deadly dull, apart from the marketing module, which I thought was fascinating.

I used to be scared of the thought of dying. I think it's natural. It became easier, and I don't want to preach, when I became a Christian. It made the whole idea of death make more sense somehow. Also, my parents deaths, Dad in 2002, and Mum in 2005, made the thought of death easier. Now I feel that when I go I will just be with Mum and Dad again, which will be good. In a sense their deaths have given me a sense of control over what happens when I go, because I've already decided that I want to be cremated and my ashes buried with my parents. As for the whole process of dying, I really hope I go the way my Dad did. Mum was ill for some time before her heart eventually gave up. Dad was unwell, but his actual death came quickly. It was a shock for us, of course, but better for him in the long run, because he didn't suffer. Losing him was bad enough, the thought of him suffering would have been worse.

I used to love the old Doctor Who theme. Which Doctor's theme was it that used to scare you? They actually changed the themes even in small tweaks from Doctor to Doctor.
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Elly
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Re: The Phobia Thread. « Reply #41 on: February 08, 2013, 07:45 PM »
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Can you?  What about people who try and fail and then have to live with the consequences?  I took an overdose of sleeping pills many years ago but survived, although the doctors said I taken enough to kill a horse.  Waking up and finding I was still in this world was absolutely awful and I had to live not only with that but the distress I caused my parents.  I also knew a guy who jumped off the bridge that runs over Waverley Station in Edinburgh.  He too survived but smashed both legs and is now confined to a wheelchair.
I may run the risk of sounding bad - but I think suicide is such a selfish thing - especially if you have people who you know will suffer greatly from missing you, and ultimately blame themselves because they didn't do enough for you, and even if that's not the case, you should want the best for yourself.  I'm causing a stir, I know - but surely you have to do enough for yourself to get your own self worth?  I talked to a girl I work with today - she's been on long term sick leave - she is a young woman, with mental health issues.  She was telling me she went to bed a week ago and heard 'voices' and is now being 'labelled' as Scizophrenic.  That girl is as sane as you and me - just struggling a wee bit.  I think we're very fond of pinning labels on people, so we don't have to bother too much...

I find myself wanting to help, but I'm not qualified to do so. 
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Connor
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Re: The Phobia Thread. « Reply #42 on: February 08, 2013, 07:49 PM »
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Can you?  What about people who try and fail and then have to live with the consequences?  I took an overdose of sleeping pills many years ago but survived, although the doctors said I taken enough to kill a horse.  Waking up and finding I was still in this world was absolutely awful and I had to live not only with that but the distress I caused my parents.  I also knew a guy who jumped off the bridge that runs over Waverley Station in Edinburgh.  He too survived but smashed both legs and is now confined to a wheelchair.

I think suicide is awful, but some people are driven to do it. What I mean is we can control how we die and when we die through the process of suicide. I would never encourage anyone to do it. Its sad to hear the world was cruel enough to even make you attempt it Frown
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Elly
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Re: The Phobia Thread. « Reply #43 on: February 08, 2013, 08:01 PM »
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I think suicide is awful, but some people are driven to do it. What I mean is we can control how we die and when we die through the process of suicide. I would never encourage anyone to do it. Its sad to hear the world was cruel enough to even make you attempt it Frown
The world isn't really that cruel - a person's perspective of it, and what they've had to deal with can lead them to believe it is, though.  It's all about a mindset and getting over stuff.  What doesn't kill you makes you stronger is something that doesn't sit well with everyone.  
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Aileen
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Re: The Phobia Thread. « Reply #44 on: February 09, 2013, 02:02 AM »
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For what it's worth, I think you are immense.  It takes great courage to face adversity and your fears and come through them out the other side.  Never unscathed, I know, but just to write that, and be semi ok with life is such a testament to you.  I'm not sure in what way you're disabled - perhaps you shared it with us earlier, and I didn't see, and I apologise.  You truly are an inspiration.  hug
I second that Elly.  Unfortunately I had to go out so couldn't respond fully to TJ's post.


I do suffer a bit with claustrophobia, not the handiest thing for a disabled person. I can't use lifts on my own, and will only do it with someone under duress, and if I go somewhere new I like to sit near a door so that I know I can get out if I need to. My big dread is locking myself in somewhere, even somewhere neutral like the bathroom. I'd go to pieces.
My mother suffered from claustrophobia - and I do too to some extent, which might seem a bit strange, but, as I said earlier, agoraphobia isn't simply fear of open spaces.  Like her, I dislike lifts but will use them, although I won't forget the time I was stuck in one between floors until an engineer turned up and winched it back down.  I also hated the London underground when I lived there for two and a half years after I left school, and again remember the panic I felt when the train I was on got stuck between stations.   That was back in the early 1960s and there was absolutely no means of communication (maybe there is now?), so we were jammed in there like sardines without having a clue as to what the problem was or how long we were likely to be there for.  Anyway a few months before I left London I stopped using the tube completely during the rush hours because I was fed up being 'groped' and the last straw was when a man managed to get his hand in a place where it very definitely shouldn't have been.  What was really scary was that there were three men standing beside me and I had no idea who the culprit was, but lashed out with my foot anyway and managed to get off the train.  OK so the bus took at least twice as long, but it was worth it just to feel safe.

My Mum though used to cause me a lot of embarrassment because she refused to lock the doors of public toilets, although it didn't seem to bother her!

Quote
Going back to the shyness, the best thing I ever did was enrol in a mainstream college after I left a special school. After spending my entire education surrounded by disabled people, I was mixing with able-bodied students and it was brilliant. Some of them were great to me, and I got to know a bunch of people well. They accepted me, the disability wasn't an issue. One tutor molly-coddled me a bit at first, but once he got to know me and learned that I could look after myself, it was fine.
I find it very sad that disabled or disfigured people have to be 'accepted'.  It's never been an issue with me.  One of my closest friends at school and beyond had contracted polio at the age of two, which left her with a badly deformed spine, although she was able to hobble around without help - and I'm glad to say that nobody tried to molly-coddle her (she wouldn't have thanked them anyway), just gave her assistance when she asked for it.  Since then I've had a friend who was both blind and unable to walk properly, and another whose face, neck and hands were horribly disfigured after she fell into a coal fire when she was a toddler.  It isn't easy to explain, but I can honestly say that I actually saw these people as being 'normal', i.e. it was like I could see the real person behind the disability so therefore it was irrelevant.


I think suicide is awful, but some people are driven to do it. What I mean is we can control how we die and when we die through the process of suicide. I would never encourage anyone to do it. Its sad to hear the world was cruel enough to even make you attempt it Frown
The world isn't really that cruel - a person's perspective of it, and what they've had to deal with can lead them to believe it is, though.  It's all about a mindset and getting over stuff.  What doesn't kill you makes you stronger is something that doesn't sit well with everyone. 
I agree, up to a point - but you don't know the sequence of events which drove me to it.  Yes, suicide is very selfish, but when people are in that frame of mind, their only focus is themselves.  Everyone else, even their nearest and dearest, just gets blotted out.  I felt very calm, almost euphoric, which I understand isn't that unusual, although there are other people who are in such a state of emotional torment that it overwhelms them.
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