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The Phobia Thread.

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Elly
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Re: The Phobia Thread. « Reply #45 on: February 09, 2013, 02:15 AM »
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I second that Elly.  Unfortunately I had to go out so couldn't respond fully to TJ's post.

My mother suffered from claustrophobia - and I do too to some extent, which might seem a bit strange, but, as I said earlier, agoraphobia isn't simply fear of open spaces.  Like her, I dislike lifts but will use them, although I won't forget the time I was stuck in one between floors until an engineer turned up and winched it back down.  I also hated the London underground when I lived there for two and a half years after I left school, and again remember the panic I felt when the train I was on got stuck between stations.   That was back in the early 1960s and there was absolutely no means of communication (maybe there is now?), so we were jammed in there like sardines without having a clue as to what the problem was or how long we were likely to be there for.  Anyway a few months before I left London I stopped using the tube completely during the rush hours because I was fed up being 'groped' and the last straw was when a man managed to get his hand in a place where it very definitely shouldn't have been.  What was really scary was that there were three men standing beside me and I had no idea who the culprit was, but lashed out with my foot anyway and managed to get off the train.  OK so the bus took at least twice as long, but it was worth it just to feel safe.

My Mum though used to cause me a lot of embarrassment because she refused to lock the doors of public toilets, although it didn't seem to bother her!
I find it very sad that disabled or disfigured people have to be 'accepted'.  It's never been an issue with me.  One of my closest friends at school and beyond had contracted polio at the age of two, which left her with a badly deformed spine, although she was able to hobble around without help - and I'm glad to say that nobody tried to molly-coddle her (she wouldn't have thanked them anyway), just gave her assistance when she asked for it.  Since then I've had a friend who was both blind and unable to walk properly, and another whose face, neck and hands were horribly disfigured after she fell into a coal fire when she was a toddler.  It isn't easy to explain, but I can honestly say that I actually saw these people as being 'normal', i.e. it was like I could see the real person behind the disability so therefore it was irrelevant.

I agree, up to a point - but you don't know the sequence of events which drove me to it.  Yes, suicide is very selfish, but when people are in that frame of mind, their only focus is themselves.  Everyone else, even their nearest and dearest, just gets blotted out.  I felt very calm, almost euphoric, which I understand isn't that unusual, although there are other people who are in such a state of emotional torment that it overwhelms them.
I'm not having a go, Aileen - there are lots of things I don't understand - i know that.  I'm just glad you are here.
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Aileen
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Re: The Phobia Thread. « Reply #46 on: February 09, 2013, 03:12 AM »
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I'm not having a go, Aileen - there are lots of things I don't understand - i know that.  I'm just glad you are here.
I knew you weren't having a go Elly, so I apologise if I sounded a bit sharp. hug
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Sabine
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Re: The Phobia Thread. « Reply #47 on: February 09, 2013, 05:23 AM »
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I may run the risk of sounding bad - but I think suicide is such a selfish thing - especially if you have people who you know will suffer greatly from missing you, and ultimately blame themselves because they didn't do enough for you, and even if that's not the case, you should want the best for yourself.

Exactly, Elly. You just took the words out of my head.
This may sound so silly, but I had once contemplated suicide, I dont even remember why. Surely it wasnt that big a problem and suicide was definitely not the solution to the problem but the one thing that stopped me from doing it (except from the pain and the method and all) was my family and friends. I couldn't bear to think how it would be for them. My mom, my dad, my bro....they would just not be the same again...and what would they say to other people about what I did? My friends who knew me so well and thought I was brave enough not to even think about suicide? All these made suicide look so stupid...I cried like hell that night just thinking about this stuff..

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teejay1
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Re: The Phobia Thread. « Reply #48 on: February 09, 2013, 12:12 PM »
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For what it's worth, I think you are immense.  It takes great courage to face adversity and your fears and come through them out the other side.  Never unscathed, I know, but just to write that, and be semi ok with life is such a testament to you.  I'm not sure in what way you're disabled - perhaps you shared it with us earlier, and I didn't see, and I apologise.  You truly are an inspiration.  hug

Thank you Elly, that is very kind. I really don't know about 'immense', but I do try to live my life as best as I can and get the most out of it, although I could always do more. I really need to get off my backside, figuratively speaking, and get out a bit more, but I have to say that within certain boundaries, I am more independent now than I've ever been, which has done my confidence and self-esteem the world of good. It's funny, but the world is not such a scary place when you know you can do things for yourself, even quite basic things. It wasn't always that way, my parents were quite protective of me in a way, but since their deaths I have been independent, although I have the love and support of family, but they don't hold me back. I live on my own, something I suspect my parents would have thought I wouldn't deal with, and I love it to death. I mean, I can eat when I want, sleep when I want, play my music loud and scream abuse at tennis matches on the TV! It's not a bad old life lol.

I'm not sure I have ever said what my disability is. I have a condition called Spina Bifida. In 'posh' terms it is a neural tube defect. In common terms, i.e. the way I understand it lol, it is a birth defect that means I am paralysed from the waist down and I use a wheelchair to get around - my chair is a pretty good electric one, so I can be independent. I also have a condition called hydrocephalus, which translates as water on the brain, so I have a shunt (or valve) in my head to drain the fluid away. My hydrocephalus doesn't trouble me really, so I tend to forget about it. I think I've already mentioned that I have scoliosis of the spine too. That's no bother either, although I am led to believe it can restrict lung capacity eventually, but I'll cross that particular bridge when I come to it.

I think in my case my disability is just one of those things. If I'd had an accident and ended up in a wheelchair there would be something to come to terms with, but there isn't for me as such. It's the way I am, the way I have always been. Also, I really do mean it when I say that my Dad used to say 'don't let the buggers drag you down kid', and he instilled in me the idea that if you can keep some sense of humour about life you can deal with anything. It's funny though, in weird ways my disability does have a bearing on my view of things. Take the tennis for example. I know it's strange to say, but I have no concept of how people stand up on their feet and stay up. I know about gravity, that sort of thing, but the idea of standing, walking around, running, means nothing in my head, because I can't do it and never have done. So, can you imagine how remarkable it is to me to watch someone like Andy doing what he does on the tennis court? I mean, he's so quick, so agile. It's not just the speed either, but it's putting himself in the right place at the right time, and then hitting the ball in the right way to get the result he wants. To me that is amazing, really incredible.
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teejay1
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Re: The Phobia Thread. « Reply #49 on: February 09, 2013, 12:19 PM »
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^ Interesting what you say about your phobia of that piece of music because a girl in my year at school used to have a phobia about the English folk song "Greensleeves".  She had absolutely no idea why, but unfortunately for her it was one of our singing teacher's favourites (I guess singing classes went out the window years ago!) and in three of the nearby classrooms you could still hear what was going on there, albeit faintly.  So as it was a small school there wasn't much escape for her and she would sit there literally shaking like a leaf with her hands firmly over her ears - and if our class had to sign it, she'd run out of the room.  Luckily we had a very understanding, if somewhat mystified, teacher.

Isn't that strange? I just think we tend to think of people having phobias of things they can see, but it just shows it isn't always the case.

Coincidentally, legend has it that Greensleeves was written by Henry VIII. I've often wondered if it was inspired by Anne Boleyn, and we all know what happened to her. I read a book last year about the last month or so of her life, which went into detail about her execution. It's enough to scare the living daylights out of anyone, so I must admit that if I hear Greensleeves now it gives me the chills!
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teejay1
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Re: The Phobia Thread. « Reply #50 on: February 09, 2013, 12:22 PM »
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I used to love the old Doctor Who theme. Which Doctor's theme was it that used to scare you? They actually changed the themes even in small tweaks from Doctor to Doctor.

It was the one from the time when Tom Baker was the Doctor especially. He was the first Doctor I was old enough to recall, but all of those early versions of the music were scary for me. Indeed, with each doctor they did tweak the music, and that was part of my problem I think lol.
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Aileen
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Re: The Phobia Thread. « Reply #51 on: February 09, 2013, 05:28 PM »
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Exactly, Elly. You just took the words out of my head.
This may sound so silly, but I had once contemplated suicide, I dont even remember why. Surely it wasnt that big a problem and suicide was definitely not the solution to the problem but the one thing that stopped me from doing it (except from the pain and the method and all) was my family and friends. I couldn't bear to think how it would be for them. My mom, my dad, my bro....they would just not be the same again...and what would they say to other people about what I did? My friends who knew me so well and thought I was brave enough not to even think about suicide? All these made suicide look so stupid...I cried like hell that night just thinking about this stuff..
hug  No, it doesn't sound silly at all, but I'm very glad that you were able to look at the consequences for others.  Sure, I can still contemplate it when I'm feeling depressed, even the method of doing it - a massive overdose of insulin (I have type 2 diabetes) - but the thought of its effect on those who know me is enough to stop me, because I've gone through this myself.  Years ago a friend of mine took her own life.  She wasn't a close friend but I'd got to know her and her problems pretty well.  After the initial shock and sadness, my main feeling was that of guilt - would it have made a difference if I'd phoned or visited her that day, or done more to help her generally?  And I now know that feelings of guilt and helplessness are quite normal in these situations so I wouldn't want to inflict that burden on others either.

Incidentally it's a well established fact that people who keep threatening to commit suicide rarely do so, mainly because they're seeking attention for their problems - a cry for help if you like.  This is why you often hear people say after somebody they know has done so unexpectedly things like "He/she didn't seem to have a care in the world", the fact being that some people can put a face on things better than others, and also maybe either don't want help anyway or are frightened to admit that they do.


Isn't that strange? I just think we tend to think of people having phobias of things they can see, but it just shows it isn't always the case.
The human mind is a very strange thing.  You can see a physical injury but nobody can see what's going on in someone's head.  Even psychiatrists and psychologists with all their training and experience admit that they can never really know.

Quote
Coincidentally, legend has it that Greensleeves was written by Henry VIII.  I've often wondered if it was inspired by Anne Boleyn, and we all know what happened to her. I read a book last year about the last month or so of her life, which went into detail about her execution. It's enough to scare the living daylights out of anyone, so I must admit that if I hear Greensleeves now it gives me the chills!
I didn't know that, TJ  Maybe (and I'm not being facetious because I happen to believe in it) that girl was a reincarnation of Anne Boleyn?  Anyway it's always seemed a rather mournful tune to me.
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Aileen
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Re: The Phobia Thread. « Reply #52 on: February 09, 2013, 05:42 PM »
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Btw - if you think your phobias or fears are in any way unusual, have a look at this A-Z list.  Very impressive!  And you can even have a phobia about phobias (Phobophobia) - http://phobialist.com/
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teejay1
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Re: The Phobia Thread. « Reply #53 on: February 09, 2013, 05:49 PM »
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I didn't know that, TJ  Maybe (and I'm not being facetious because I happen to believe in it) that girl was a reincarnation of Anne Boleyn?  Anyway it's always seemed a rather mournful tune to me.

Aileen, I've just been doing some reading. It turns out that Greensleeves may not have been written by Henry VIII at all. It is apparently Elizabethan, but there is still some debate about how far back it does go, so who knows.

I quite like the idea of Anne Boleyn being reincarnated. She was no angel by any means, and rocked the boat in Henry's court, but what happened to her was a total miscarriage of justice. The French swordsman who came over for her execution was sent for before her trial had even begun!

I did warn you I like my Tudor history lol.
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robbie
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Re: The Phobia Thread. « Reply #54 on: February 09, 2013, 06:13 PM »
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I believe Hisspanics are afraid of snakes. Think
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teejay1
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Courage doesn't always roar - but wins Wimbledon

Re: The Phobia Thread. « Reply #55 on: February 09, 2013, 06:27 PM »
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I believe Hisspanics are afraid of snakes. Think

Oh Robbie, that is bad, even by your standards lol.
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robbie
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Re: The Phobia Thread. « Reply #56 on: February 09, 2013, 06:34 PM »
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Oh Robbie, that is bad, even by your standards lol.
search me
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Aileen
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Re: The Phobia Thread. « Reply #57 on: February 09, 2013, 06:36 PM »
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I believe Hisspanics are afraid of snakes. Think
I'm saying nothing ...


Aileen, I've just been doing some reading. It turns out that Greensleeves may not have been written by Henry VIII at all. It is apparently Elizabethan, but there is still some debate about how far back it does go, so who knows.

I quite like the idea of Anne Boleyn being reincarnated. She was no angel by any means, and rocked the boat in Henry's court, but what happened to her was a total miscarriage of justice. The French swordsman who came over for her execution was sent for before her trial had even begun!

I did warn you I like my Tudor history lol.
My historian friend tells me that it's true, but then historians love to have their little arguments!

Also when I was at school and it got to the stage when we had to specialise in a particular era of British history, I was disappointed to discover that the focus would be from 1660 - 1832, because I had found the Tudors and early Stuarts interesting.  I did read a few historical novels on that period though.
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robbie
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Re: The Phobia Thread. « Reply #58 on: February 09, 2013, 06:39 PM »
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I'm saying nothing ...
Rejoice. yay
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Aileen
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Re: The Phobia Thread. « Reply #59 on: February 09, 2013, 06:47 PM »
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Rejoice. yay
Ooh look Robbie - I've edited a post ... again!  But it was either that or double-posting and Mark doesn't like that.  naughty
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