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Truths

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Bevc
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Location: Cambridge - New Zealand


I'd give up chocolate but I'm no quitter!

Truths « on: February 14, 2006, 07:57 PM »
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GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptise cats.
2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.

GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:

1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.

SUCCESS:

At age 4 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 17 success is . . . having a drivers licence.
At age 35 success is . . . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers licence.
At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.

 roflmao   Got a reputation to maintain!  roflmao
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Quackers
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Truths « Reply #1 on: February 14, 2006, 08:10 PM »
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Quote
At age 4 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 17 success is . . . having a drivers licence.
At age 35 success is . . . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers licence.
At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.


 upfunny  roflmao  upfunny
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Sarah_
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Re: Truths « Reply #2 on: February 14, 2006, 08:15 PM »
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Quote from: "Bevc"
GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:



THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:

1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.


 roflmao   Got a reputation to maintain!  roflmao


 roflmao   roflmao   roflmao  Amazing.. Hahaha
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deedee
John McEnroe
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Posts: 17,742


Re: Truths « Reply #3 on: February 14, 2006, 08:34 PM »
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Quote from: "Bevc"

2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:

1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.

SUCCESS:

At age 4 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.
At age 80 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.


 roflmao  roflmao  roflmao I can't breathe roflmao  roflmao  roflmao
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Bevc
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Posts: 35,274

Gender: Female
Location: Cambridge - New Zealand


I'd give up chocolate but I'm no quitter!

Truths « Reply #4 on: February 14, 2006, 09:02 PM »
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stretcher  on my way!  roflmao
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deedee
John McEnroe
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Posts: 17,742


Truths « Reply #5 on: February 14, 2006, 09:05 PM »
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Oow, be a dear and bring Hollie? Wink
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iaintheviolaplayer
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Location: Normally either in Glasgow or Edinburgh


Truths « Reply #6 on: February 14, 2006, 11:15 PM »
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the 'Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional' makes a great birthday card ive discovered
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~Lola~
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Flood me with your words - trust me, I can swim

Truths « Reply #7 on: February 15, 2006, 12:37 AM »
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roflmao  
Great Bev, thanks! goodjob
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deedee
John McEnroe
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Truths « Reply #8 on: February 15, 2006, 12:46 PM »
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Quote from: "iaintheviolaplayer"
the 'Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional' makes a great birthday card ive discovered

Great lol I'll steal that idea Wink
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