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 61 
 on: Yesterday at 06:59 PM 
Started by Coldmarek - Last post by Aileen
While we're in political mode, I'm sure @ChrisMac won't mind if a re-post this one from January 2013 -


Ed Miliband walks into a bank to cash a cheque. “Good morning”, says Ed, “could you please cash this cheque for me?”

Cashier: “It would be my pleasure Sir, but could you please show me some identification?”

Miliband: “Truthfully… I did not bring my ID with me as I didn’t think there was any need to. But hang on! I’m Ed Miliband, Leader of the Opposition and of the Labour Party!!!”

Cashier: ““Yes Sir, I know who you are, but with all the regulations and monitoring of the banks because of impostors and forgers etc, I must insist on seeing some identification”.

Miliband: “Just ask any of the customers here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am!”

Cashier: “I’m sorry Sir, but these are the bank rules and I must follow them”.

Miliband: “I am urging you please, to cash this cheque for me”.

Cashier: “Look Sir, this is what we can do. One day Colin Montgomery came into the bank without any ID. To prove he was Colin Montgomery he pulled out his putter and putted a ball along the floor and into a small cup. With that sort of skill we knew it was Colin Montgomery and we cashed his cheque. On another occasion, Andy Murray came in without any ID. He pulled out his tennis racquet and lobbed a tennis ball straight into my teacup with such a spectacular shot that we all knew it was Andy Murray and we cashed his cheque. So Sir, what can you do to prove that it is you and only you, as the Leader of the Opposition?”

Ed Miliband stood there thinking and thinking and then finally says, “To be honest, there is nothing that comes to my mind. I can’t think of a single thing that I’m any good at.”

Cashier: “Will it be large or small notes you require Mr Miliband?”


 62 
 on: Yesterday at 06:52 PM 
Started by Coldmarek - Last post by Aileen
lol  I posted that joke ages ago!  Love it though. Very Happy

 63 
 on: Yesterday at 06:35 PM 
Started by Matthew2408 - Last post by boogers
The Marquis of Bute stole Cardiff

lol

 64 
 on: Yesterday at 06:32 PM 
Started by Matthew2408 - Last post by blueberryhill
 I'll jump on you for accepting that London is returning a fraction of the blood it has sucked to begin with!

Come off it Fiverings you can't say wild emotive stuff like that without backing it up.
If you do I'll play: The Marquis of Bute stole Cardiff or London blood sucked Welsh coal.
Easy.

 65 
 on: Yesterday at 06:30 PM 
Started by Matthew2408 - Last post by boogers
 Unlike some, I don't see the fluctuation in oil prices as the be-all and end-all of a successful  Scottish economy. I realise that there are many who are fixated on that, but the value of independence is far more fundamental than the price of a barrel of oil.

You may understand that, and be fully comfortable with the resultant massive cuts in social services etc. that it implies, but I wonder if most of the pro-indy camp understands that. Especially given the rhetoric about the SNP supporting socialist values, implying expenditure on social programs.

Put simply, the Scottish economy has a forecast deficit for this year of £14.2 billion. The gap - that is, the difference between the deficit across the whole of the UK compared to that of Scotland is £7.6 billion. UK deficit runs at 4% of GDP; the Scottish deficit runs at 8.6% of GDP.

Right now that's not a problem as that missing money is subsidised by the rest of the UK - one of the benefits of the Union.

In the IndyRef white-paper, oil revenue was a significant component in at least partially closing that gap to the point where some hand waving over economic growth almost seemed plausible. Without oil revenue (because there is none, because the price has crashed and the North Sea installations are rapidly being mothballed) it's ludicrous.

I'm genuinely interested to know exactly what you'd do to cut that gap. Can we debate what economic levers you'll pull? I'm assuming that the majority of indy supporters would be pretty upset at a scaling back of social programs to something like Irish levels.

 66 
 on: Yesterday at 06:29 PM 
Started by Connor - Last post by Matthew2408
A chance has arisen for Andy in Madrid it seems. Hopefully he gets momentum from this week in Munich.

It will all depend on the draw.

 67 
 on: Yesterday at 06:27 PM 
Started by scot-boy - Last post by Connor
Is Mauresmo on her way out? I wonder.

I don't mind if she stays or if she goes really, now that Bjorkman is there Andy is getting 100% attention.

 68 
 on: Yesterday at 06:24 PM 
Started by Connor - Last post by Connor
A chance has arisen for Andy in Madrid it seems. Hopefully he gets momentum from this week in Munich.

 69 
 on: Yesterday at 06:14 PM 
Started by scotnadian - Last post by Aileen

Monfils has withdrawn with a knee injury. Not sure who takes his place, presumably an alternate or lucky loser.
Shame really, he's so injury prone, which isn't surprising given the way he throws himself round the court.

Good another potential difficult opponent out of the way. Gerard Melzer takes his place.
Please don't go jinxing things! #superstitious

For general info, Gerald is the 24 year old younger brother of Jurgen, and like him is also a leftie.   Currently  ranked #186, he's won 11 Futures titles since Sept 2010, all of them on clay, which not surprisingly he considers his favourite surface.

 70 
 on: Yesterday at 06:06 PM 
Started by scotnadian - Last post by Aileen
Aileen,

I do not think that I shall use Google translate in the future!  Easier for me to translate it despite not having done German for over fifty years but thank you for finding the article and posting it!
It was @Sparkle who found the article and posted it, but, whilst I can still cope well with French the same can't be said about German, probably because (a) I only studied it for 3 years, having opted to do this to avoid having to continue with Latin, and (b) never really got to grips with the grammar anyway.

More fun this way.   "On Tuesday, the tournament favorite is then believed himself in the role of interested viewers".
lol  I agree, but then native speakers of other languages must get a good laugh at translations from English into their language, and my Polish/Scottish cousin in Warsaw found a Polish translation of something I sent him hilarious!



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