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A History of Football

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Football is very popular in Great Britain an was invented by John Logie Baird at Eton School in 1678. Baird was playing snooker when, instead of throwing the ball into the pocket as is usual, he leapt onto the table and kicked it in. This led to the creation of the game of Football.

Football’s governing body is Sky TV, a huge organisation that arranges matches to cause maximum inconvenience to all supporters. The tribal nature of football is a joy to behold, with supporters of rival teams standing alongside each other and engaging in hilarious and good natured chatter throughout the match.

Many famous songs have been attributed to football crowds, including the famous hymn “You’re Going Home In A F***ing Ambulance”, first penned by William Blake. Blake was a Blackburn Rovers fan who also went on to become a painter and decorator before dying penniless.

Other songs invented at football grounds include:

Ave Maria
My Way
Smells Like Teen Spirit

And the song which was eventually adopted as the National Anthem of Togo, “You’re So S*** It’s Unbelievable”.

Football clubs have individual nicknames, some of the most famous are listed below:

Arsenal, The Surgeons
Walsall, The Insomniacs
Manchester United, The Excrement
Chelsea, The Skidmarks
Northampton, The Cardiologists
Norwich, The Wickermen
Oldham, The Undertakers
Millwall, The Serial Killers
Newcastle, The Social Workers
Tottenham Hotspur, The Small Brown Stain That Can Only Be Removed By Frequent Washing With Bicarbonate Of Soda.

(Other popular sports include Darts, invented by the Zulus at Rourke's Drift in 1879, Archery, first recognised as sport by the English at Agincourt, and Motor Racing. This takes place on motorways across the world every day of the week and involves driving at ridiculous speeds with no regard for safety. The first driver to run into a tree wins).
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thats great
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ooh football. i like the name for chelsea 'the skidmarks' hehehe!!!! roflmao
who do you support john?
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If only all history lessons were as informative!  roflmao

Great stuff John  goodjob
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Very Happy

Quote from: "Jessypie"
who do you support john?


Caaaaarrrrrrddddddddiiiiiiiiifffffff! Smile

Go Bluebirds! (Playing the Serial Killers tonight... shocking)

And I sort of support Southampton, 'cos I was born there, but they're not most brilliant of teams... Rolling Eyes
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Since when did you support Cardiff?
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Haha... I stealed your team! Razz

And since whenever it was I started following football at all.
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Team stealer!! *pout* My team!!  search sorry, just like that emoticon

jumping-w00t Well done on the big 1-triple 0 John Wink
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1000... shocking... I spend far too much time on here!

Armies of little minions... roflmao search  search  search  search  search  search

This team ain't big enough for the both of us? Wink
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HE didn't sign for wrexham or jack b******s coz theyre s**** he signed for cardiff city coz we're f****** dynamite!!
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Norwich ain't so dynamite though... Whistle
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Dammit.... you're good.....

Yes well....they're not so bad....he was my favourite player as well...

edit: wait a sec....you can get that from google....hmmm how about the next verse?
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upfunny Chelsea and Spurs ones are the best.... true aswell.  Whistle
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Cardiff 1 - 1 Millwall

(1 - 0)  C Jerome 27 / B Powel 59
 
Bookings:
R Weston 44
   
Bookings:
P Ifil 73
M Lawrence 82
D Livermore 84
T Craig 90

Weston got booked.....what a pillock!
1-1 not a bad result though! Seventh in the table! Cmon the bluebirds!
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Coulda done better but I don't mind... Smile

Crystal Palace next, should be fun... :P



I haven't bought a football team since 1986, 'cause I'm the team stealer... Wink (Perhaps I am crazy... bet no-one knows what that's about Whistle)
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