My withdrawal from Wimbledon
First week of Wimbledon, 2013. My second round match will be remembered forever (a very long time).
I made a lot of perplextions as the day went on. Staff informed Me that everybody was withdrawing from the tournament and, being the team player that I am, I thought these were new rules created by the ATP and AELTC ( All England Law, Tennis and Croquet Clubs). I promptly decided to lose. I want to make the confirmations that I don’t have an injury, nor did I do the slippings over and show My undergarments like Maria Sugarpova, I just decided to lose because I thought this is what we were all doing.
As you can imagine, well, you can’t imagine because you’ve never done it, so I will tell you. During a match you have no idea what is happening in the world. So it was only after the match that staff promptly advised Me that not everybody was playing the withdrawals game.
I made the shocked faces for eleven minutes. It’s a bit like attending a Strip Poker party and you ending up naked very quickly holding onto your GOATlings before realizing everybody else is playing Bridge. You feel betrayed, cheated and cold.
Stakhovsky said after the match that playing against Me was like playing “… two people, Federer and his ego…”. I wonder if he was referring to both of My tweetings accounts? I have two because I use one for work and one is My personal account. Other than that I don’t have the ideas of what he was referring to. I asked staff and they just looked at Me so I am making the assumations that they don’t know either.
But please don’t make the worries fans. There are a lot of positives. Serena is in devastating form at the moment, she is playing better than ever and I wasn’t looking forward to playing her in the second week.
Another big positive is that I was planning to contact Team Murray. I wanted to discuss the possibilities of making the swapsy. He takes Paul Anaconda, and I have Ivan Lentils. I’ll even throw in a couple of staff members. Because I went out of the tournament early I can start the negotiatings sooner!
So you see, every cloud has the gold lining, a lot like My pillows.
Read this yesterday and didn't have time to post, but it had me smiling for the rest of the day! PseudoFed at his brilliant best! So many great bits to choose from, but the bit about swapping Paul Anaconda for Ivan Lentils' and 'not looking forward to playing Serena next week' had me in fits!
Thanks for posting it Dani!