Penis breath, a lover's dread
Is what you get when you give head
Unpleasant as it tends to be
Be grateful that he doesn't pee
It's times like this, you wonder why
You bothered reaching for his fly
But it's too late, can't be a tease
Accept the facts, get on your knees
You know you've got a job to do
So open wide and shove it through
Lick the tip then take it all
Don't drag your teeth or he might bawl
Slide up and down, use your tongue
And feel the precum start to run
So when the f**k's he gonna cum
Just, when you can't take anymore
You hear your lover's mighty roar
And when he hits that real high note
You feel it oozing down your throat
Salty, fishy, sticky, stuff
Okay, already that's enough
Let's switch you say, before you gag
And what revenge, you're on the rag.

Awesome!

Some of these definitions fit Mark to a 'T' ........ maybe we should take a poll on which are the more appropriate  

Hacking Through the Jargon Jungle
When I went to college in the 1980's, I heard a lot of words like "data input" and "beta version." They confused me. I wanted desperately to know what people were talking about, what Big Secret resided in the computer industry.

Now that I've worked in a computer company for the last few years, I've gained an insider's perspective. I decided to share my knowledge with the uninitiated by creating the following brief, handy glossary:

Alpha. Software undergoes alpha testing as a first step in getting user feedback. Alpha is Latin for "doesn't work."

Beta. Software undergoes beta testing shortly before it's released. Beta is Latin for "still doesn't work."

Computer. Instrument of torture. The first computer was invented by Roger "Duffy" Billingsly, a British scientist. In a plot to overthrow Adolf Hitler, Duffy disguised himself as a German ally and offered his invention as a gift to the surly dictator. The plot worked. On April 8, 1945, Adolf became so enraged at the "Incompatible File Format" error message that he shot himself. The war ended soon after Hitler's death, and Duffy began working for IBM.

CPU. Central propulsion unit. The CPU is the computer's engine. It consists of a hard drive, an interface card and a tiny spinning wheel that's powered by a running rodent - a gerbil if the machine is a 286, a ferret if it's a 386 and a ferret on speed if it's a 486.

Default Directory. Black hole. Default directory is where all files that you need disappear to.

Error message. Terse, baffling remark used by programmers to place blame on users for the program's shortcomings.

File. A document that has been saved with an unidentifiable name. It helps to think of a file as something stored in a file cabinet - except when you try to remove the file, the cabinet gives you an electric shock and tells you the file format is unknown.

Hardware. Collective term for any computer-related object that can be kicked or battered.

Help. The feature that assists in generating more questions. When the help feature is used correctly, users are able to navigate through a series of Help screens and end up where they started from without learning anything.

Input/Output. Information is input from the keyboard as intelligible data and output to the printer as unrecognizable junk.

Interim Release. A programmer's feeble attempt at repentance.

Memory. Of computer components, the most generous in terms of variety, and the skimpiest in terms of quantity.

Printer. A joke in poor taste. A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.

Programmers. Computer avengers. Once members of that group of high school nerds who wore tape on their glasses, played Dungeons and Dragons, and memorized Star Trek episodes; now millionaires who create "user-friendly" software to get revenge on whoever gave them noogies.

Reference Manual. Object that raises the monitor to eye level. Also used to compensate for that short table leg.

Scheduled Release Date. A carefully calculated date determined by estimating the actual shipping date and subtracting six months from it.

User-Friendly. Of or pertaining to any feature, device or concept that makes perfect sense to a programmer.

Users. Collective term for those who stare vacantly at a monitor.

Users are divided into three types: novice, intermediate and expert.
- Novice Users. People who are afraid that simply pressing a key might break their computer.
- Intermediate Users. People who don't know how to fix their computer after they've just pressed a key that broke it.
- Expert Users. People who break other people's computers.

Howl .............. let me count the ways ............

That wasn't Jerry Sadowitz, was it?  The man is outrageous.

Mick and Paddy had promised their uncle Seamus, who had been a seafaring
gent all his life, to bury him at sea when he died.
 
Of course, in due time, he did pass away and the boys kept their promise.
 
They set off with Uncle Seamus all stitched up in a burial bag and loaded
onto their rowboat. After a while Mick says, "Do yer tink dis is fer enuff
out, Paddy?"
 
Without a word Paddy slips over the side only to find himself standing in
water up to his knees.
 
"Dis'll never do, Mick. Let's row some more."
 
After a bit more rowing Paddy slips over the side again but the water is
only up to his belly, so they row on.
 
Again Mick asks Paddy, "Do yer tink dis is fer enuff out Paddy?"
 
Once again Paddy slips over the side and almost immediately says, "No
dis'll neva do."
 
The water was only up to his chest.
 
So on they row and row and row and finally Paddy slips over the side and
disappears. Quite a bit of time goes by and poor Mick is really getting
himself into a state when suddenly Paddy breaks the surface gasping for
breath.
 
"Well is it deep enuff yet, Paddy?"
 
"Aye it 'tis, hand me DA shovel."

HAHA