Found a small lump last night.
Luckily it's on the skin and the doctor said that it's nothing to worry about.
I'm glad too.
Well done for going to see the doc so quickly.
The problem isn't really with my back it's with the nerves
(and acupuncture makes me pass out) Basically the primary pain seems to be from misfunctioning nerves that are sending out false pain signals to my brain resulting in very real pain...it's been described as a fire alarm that won't go off
because of that the muscles in my back seize up, especially where the nerves intersect them giving me secondary pain. Following??
So we can increase movement and strength and loosen up the muscles in my back and reduce that pain for a short amount of time (few hours) but the continuous nerve pain then cause then to seize again
So the path seems to be leading to pain management, but that's a long waiting list
and even then it just means trying to balance it so the nerve pain slowly decreases enough that I can lower my medication enough that I can function. So basically at the moment their talking long term medication and increasing my ability to live with the pain...but this is all theory and plan till after orthopaedics see me and probably say the same...and then I just have to deal and wait until I can get an appointment at the pain management clinic
Meanwhile I need to hand in my resignation from my church cleaning job because my dad can't continue doing it for me, and I can't keep on taking money that we really need for other things
But what are the chances of me getting any financial support from the government just now?
And everyone tells me that I need to remove the stress...while just getting over it because my dad and brother are tired of me and want me to just suddenly be able to do everything as before...I'm ready to explode with frustration...which then makes me guilty because my parents are very generous and so many people are in a worse state than me
Went to a gentle excercise class this morning...kept tripping over my own feet
was the youngest by about 3 decades, must have made them feel better to see me flailing around
Hazel, I understand completely what you're describing.
I can sympathise with you, but for a different reason. I suffer from depression and agoraphobia and I know the frustration that that causes me. Medication helps to a certain extent, but not all the time. I was on Incapacity Benefit before I officially "retired", and it was a huge relief when I turned 60 because obviously I was no longer entitled to it. I have my state pension plus pension credit because my finances are so poor, but at least I'm no longer living with the constant threat of having that taken away from me. I also get full housing benefit (my flat is rented) and a big reduction in council tax. I'm not at all happy with this government's attitude towards cutting benefits. Yes, there are the scroungers but I'm worried they're planning to pick on the wrong people - even us pensioners aren't immune, the latest I've heard is that the winter fuel allowance is to be scrapped.
I know exactly what it's like to be told "why can't you just do ... [whatever]", so I can understand your frustration when your parents and others expect you to suddenly go back to what you were like before you had this trouble, as if the frustrations people like you and I experience because of our problems isn't already enough! Also having to rely on other people for things doesn't help either. When I'm at my worst I can't go out, but fortunately have a good friend who lives close by who does my shopping for me.
Incidentally, joining MW was one of the best things I ever did, despite my initial reservations.