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MW Jokes
Iain
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yeah you're right neill. i knew it didn't sound right. Damn.

Jimmy Carr was very funny on Jonathan Ross on Friday.He's a funny man. Jimmy Carr that is - not the other one.

He told a brilliant joke about the Irish.

An Irishman walks into a library and says "Can I have some fish and chips please?"

The librarian says to him "This is actually a library."

The Irishman replies "Oh, sorry, then whispers Can I have some fish and chips please?"


Brilliant.lol
[ Last edit by Iain December 19, 2006, 05:13 pm ] IP Logged
Iain
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Actually Jonathan Ross told a good joke against himself.

Someone had sent in a card to him which had two rhinos on the front.

One rhino says to the other "I f***ed Jonathan Ross last night. And the git called me a wino."
[ Last edit by Iain December 19, 2006, 05:16 pm ] IP Logged
Neil
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LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL roflmao
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Neil
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I nominate Iain for the MW Legends Thread as "Resident Comic"
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deedee
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Poor Iain... Being on the list. lol
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davew
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Quote from: Iain on December 19, 2006, 04:41 pm
To which Captain Mannering shouts "Don't tell him your name Pike!"
That's Mainwaring!  Rolling Eyes
[ Last edit by davew December 19, 2006, 06:18 pm ] IP Logged
davew
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A sandwich walks into a bar and orders a pint, and the barman says "I'm sorry, we don't serve food here"
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Iain
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This joke's possibly been mentioned here before.

It's a bit sick. It's by the Glaswegian comic Des Clarke.

Do you remember the campaign for "Make Poverty History" last year?

The advert where Bono and other celebrities are saying " Every time I click my fingers another child in Africa dies".  A Glaswegian stands up at the back of the pub and shouts out "Well, stop clicking your ******* fingers then."
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davew
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Heard that one millions of times
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Coldmarek
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The husband had just finished reading a new book titled, "You Can Be the Man of Your House!"

He stormed into the kitchen and walked directly up to his wife. Pointing a finger in her face, he said sternly, "From now on, you need to know that am the man of this house and my word is law!

You will Prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert.

After dinner you are going to go upstairs with me, and we will have the kind of $ex that I want.

After that, you are going to run me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then you will massage my feet and hands.

Then after that's done, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"

His wife replied, "The f_ _kin' funeral director would be my guess."
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