MurraysWorld  >  Chit Chat  >  MW Jokes
Pages: 1 ... 8 9 10 [11] Reply

MW Jokes

Quote

yeah you're right neill. i knew it didn't sound right. Damn.

Jimmy Carr was very funny on Jonathan Ross on Friday.He's a funny man. Jimmy Carr that is - not the other one.

He told a brilliant joke about the Irish.

An Irishman walks into a library and says "Can I have some fish and chips please?"

The librarian says to him "This is actually a library."

The Irishman replies "Oh, sorry, then whispers Can I have some fish and chips please?"


Brilliant.lol
[ Last edit by Iain December 19, 2006, 05:13 pm ] IP Logged
Quote

Actually Jonathan Ross told a good joke against himself.

Someone had sent in a card to him which had two rhinos on the front.

One rhino says to the other "I f***ed Jonathan Ross last night. And the git called me a wino."

[ Last edit by Iain December 19, 2006, 05:16 pm ] IP Logged
Quote

LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL roflmao
IP Logged
Quote

I nominate Iain for the MW Legends Thread as "Resident Comic"
IP Logged
Quote

Poor Iain... Being on the list. lol
IP Logged
Quote

To which Captain Mannering shouts "Don't tell him your name Pike!"
That's MainwaringRolling Eyes
[ Last edit by davew December 19, 2006, 06:18 pm ] IP Logged
Quote

A sandwich walks into a bar and orders a pint, and the barman says "I'm sorry, we don't serve food here"
IP Logged
Quote

This joke's possibly been mentioned here before.

It's a bit sick. It's by the Glaswegian comic Des Clarke.

Do you remember the campaign for "Make Poverty History" last year?

The advert where Bono and other celebrities are saying " Every time I click my fingers another child in Africa dies".  A Glaswegian stands up at the back of the pub and shouts out "Well, stop clicking your ******* fingers then."
IP Logged
Quote

Heard that one millions of times
IP Logged
Quote

The husband had just finished reading a new book titled, "You Can Be the Man of Your House!"

He stormed into the kitchen and walked directly up to his wife. Pointing a finger in her face, he said sternly, "From now on, you need to know that am the man of this house and my word is law!

You will Prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert.

After dinner you are going to go upstairs with me, and we will have the kind of $ex that I want.

After that, you are going to run me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then you will massage my feet and hands.

Then after that's done, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"

His wife replied, "The f_ _kin' funeral director would be my guess."
IP Logged
Pages: 1 ... 8 9 10 [11] Reply