George: "If we do happen to step on a mine, Sir, what do we do ?"
Blackadder: "Normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump 200 feet in the air and scatter oneself over a wide area."
"There was a tiny flaw in the plan. It was boll***s."
- Blackadder to George and Baldrick, BA4
Blackadder: "Percy, the colour of gold, is gold. Whatever you have discovered if it has a name would be called green."
Percy: "Oh Edmund can it be true, that I hold in my mortal hands a nugget of purest GREEN??"
Blackadder: "It is said, Percy, that civilised man seeks out good and intelligent company, so by learned discourse he may rise above the savage and closer to God"
Percy: "Yes, I've heard that"
Blackadder: "Personally, however, I like to start the day with a total dickhead, to remind me I'm best"
Blackadder: "First Name?"
Baldrick: "I'm not sure."
Blackadder: "Come on, you MUST have a first name."
Baldrick: "It might be Sod Off."
Blackadder: "Sod Off??"
Baldrick: "Yeah, when I was a young lad playing in the gutter, I used to say to all the other snipes, "Hello, my names Baldrick". And they'd say, "Yes we know, Sod Off Baldrick"
Lord Flashheart: "I wasn't born yesterday, you know."
Blackadder: "More's the pity, we could have started your personality from scratch."
"I am minuspeptic, frasmotic, even compunctuous to have caused you such pericabobulations."
- Blackadder to Dr Samuel Johnson, author of the Dictionary, BA3
B;ackadder: "What is your name, boy ?"
Blackadder: "Kate, that's an unusual name for a boy."
Boy: "It's short for ... Bob."
- Kate, trying to pass as a boy, BA2
lol u may all call me Bob